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Dream Burls
06-08-2012, 06:10 PM
So I went to the doctor the other day. I said "Doc, I have a real problem. Lately I've been seeing burl everywhere I look". The thing is, up until a few months ago the only burls I knew were Milton and Ives (not to be confused with Currier and Ives). Then I registered with Kitchen Knife Forums and the next thing I knew I was seeing burl patterns in my linguini, oil slicks, tie dye shirts (yes, I'm that old) and when I poured milk into my coffee. Even when I close my eyes, there they are: patterns of swirling darks and lights enticingly intertwining with each other as if embracing before a long separation.

The doctor said "Don't worry, I've seen this type of thing many times before. It usually occurs in the early stages of an affliction that affects a relatively small segment of the population." He called it "cellulose envy" and told me that while the symptoms can be very dramatic there are simple, yet often expensive remedies. He suggested I stay away from KKF for a week (fat chance) and try whittling. If that didn't work, he said the only thing left to do was buy a very expensive custom Japanese knife and spend many hours agonizing over what wood(s) to use for the handle.

I'm happy to report that while whittling was a bust, I'm well on my way to a cure.

Deckhand
06-08-2012, 06:14 PM
It's ok this is where the groups meet for this affliction.

Twistington
06-08-2012, 06:22 PM
"I'm well on my way to a cure." Sorry to break this for you, it's autoimmune... you can only feed it with blocks of wood to keep it at bay(not doing so can affect your sleep pattern). :)

apicius9
06-08-2012, 06:26 PM
"I'm well on my way to a cure." Sorry to break this for you, it's autoimmune... you can only feed it with blocks of wood to keep it at bay(not doing so can affect your sleep pattern). :)

+1 - and I am a doctor, too ;)

Stefan

Pabloz
06-08-2012, 06:36 PM
+1 - and I am a doctor, too ;)

Stefan


And your prescription FEEDS the addiction!!!!

Chifunda
06-08-2012, 06:43 PM
...you can only feed it with blocks of wood to keep it at bay

Which in some patients triggers an abnormal fear of termites and woodpeckers. :biggrin:

DeepCSweede
06-08-2012, 06:44 PM
Unfortunately, like vicodin - it is only a short term cure that once taken, will require another shot and then another and so on and so on...The affliction gets even worse when you have pulled yourself even deeper by buying several blocks of beautiful wood with no knives to go with it.

It is a cruel cycle.

Its kind of like I got a fever and the only thing that can cure it is more burl!!

Pabloz
06-08-2012, 06:50 PM
Which in some patients triggers an abnormal fear of termites and woodpeckers. :biggrin:


and "sticky" fingers everywhere.

Dream Burls
06-08-2012, 06:52 PM
Yeah, I was afraid it was systemic. I guess there are worse vices.

Pabloz
06-08-2012, 06:52 PM
I guess there are worse vices.

NOPE!!!!!

The Edge
06-08-2012, 06:53 PM
Doctor, doctor, give me the news,
I got a bad case of lovin' wood!

Dream Burls
06-08-2012, 06:54 PM
I'll leave that to the imagination.

The Edge
06-08-2012, 07:01 PM
:scratchhead::bigeek:

Eamon Burke
06-08-2012, 09:23 PM
Exposure therapy. Take a road trip to Mark Farley's place.

Dream Burls
06-09-2012, 09:12 AM
Thanks Eamon. I'm very familiar with Mark's site as well as others that specialize in burl. Marko posted a great list of wood sources the other day. I spend alot of time drooling over some of the pieces I see.

Mike Davis
06-11-2012, 11:42 AM
I am afraid for the day i walk into Mark's place. I do not think i will see it as exposure therapy, more like time to rent a moving truck and empty my bank account.