This was a fairly regular source of friction in my home for a while, especially following a crusty rusty Carter incident.
A couple things happened in my house, the most significant being that I've relaxed a bit. After having so many knives and sharpening and reprofiling you come to realize that even your nicest knife is just steel, she can't do anything to it in regular use that can't be fixed. Also of help, she has learned better habits over time with GENTLE suggestions here and there.
My ultimate solution... Buy her a knife as nice as mine are. So I bought her a 180 Mario and told her its hers, no complaining on my part, she can use it however she wants. I agreeed to keep it tuned up no questions asked. The unexpected result: she takes really good care of it. We've had no issues since.
Just remember you will go through dozens of knives in your life And only a couple of wives, so try to keep the peace.