ridiculous requests

[ChuckTheButcher]

Working in a butcher shop I had a customer want a pork tenderloin but demand it was the size of a beef tenderloin.

[Chef Niloc]

I always love when you get the red ink that says "onion allergy" or whatever, then you tell the server there is already onion in x, y or z. They come back and say, "they said that was okay, just no EXTRA onion". Oh, so you are only allergic to EXTRA onion? Got it.

My most ridiculous ever was someone who wanted their entire meal (a salmon entree) put in a blender so they could drink/slurp it. They were elderly or injured or something...but geez.

Wow, Crazzy thing is every time I see or get asked this type of question that's the first thing that pops into my head. The GM came back and asked me to blend up a MR filet with potato and lots of ketchup I thought he was joking. I actually said "you're kidding me right"? He then said no I'm not kidding it's for a paraplegic kid, kind of made me feel like a dick. Still to this day I feel kind of bad that it's the 1st thing that pops into my head.

The other story that sticks out in my head is sad but also has to do with some one that is truly ill. A mother use to come in every Sunday with her son, 35 or so year old that lived in a special needs facility, his mother took him out on the weekends. But the two of them needed a table for 5 set ( just two of them mind you). First PITA is having to stash a chair, because there could be only 5! All 5 places needed to be set and served water and bread. Nothing could be taken away from the table before they were all done, so we would wind up with a table stacked up with 15-20 plates, 7+ glasses, silverware condiments in monkey dishes etc, all this for a two top who's check came yo about $30 or so. They stopped coming in after a Incident (Not their first incident, few funny story's about this Mother son act") a new girl went to pre bus the table (don't know if she was warned ahead of time and forgot, or just just didn't know) and "Davad" screams and throws his glass at her. She falls with the whole stack a plates broken glass every were and he continues to "attack" her by throwing thins at her while she's on the ground. "Special needs" or not it was kind of crazy that everyone just stood there and watch this going on, in other words no one tried to stop him or help her. I came out and put the guy into a sleeper hold, GM got pissed at me...funny he also got pissed at me again when the new waitresses medical bills came in with workman's comp, sometimes you just can't win.

[Chuckles]

There is a classy way to make special requests and there is a d-bag way to make them. I think it makes a difference. Although, in the kitchen you only hear about it from the server so you never know the real story. I wish more servers would ask follow up questions. I think they make up the details or just claim it is a more severe allergy than it is just so they can get on with their night.

Friday and Saturday night at my job are amateur nights to be sure. Most of what I do those nights is translate special orders into something that will make sense to a busy cook. Gotta keep telling myself that raw vegans are not expecting the food to have much 'flavor' and that while sea bass with butter sauce served over spaghetti with red sauce sounds atrocious to me the guy's $35 for the dish pays for two hours of sauté cook.


Can I substitute grilled asparagus for the fried parsley garnish?

[Chuckles]

I did puréed sea bass for Lady Bird Johnson when I was in Texas. Super classy family was happy to do it. The fact that there were three huge and armed secret service agents sitting quietly at the next table helped keep the temper down.

[panda]

oh yeah, drives me up the wall when people try to substitute a single ingredient let alone a @#$#$@#$@#$ garnish for entire side orders.

mr dinky, it's fine, it's the asking to be heated up again prior to putting it in to-go container part that's bonkers.

[Crothcipt]

My most ridiculous ever was someone who wanted their entire meal (a salmon entree) put in a blender so they could drink/slurp it. They were elderly or injured or something...but geez.

Had this request for a gumbo we served. Found out that the guy loved our gumbo, had his jaw wired shut from a car accident. Just getting out of the hospital first meal out he wanted gumbo. Never had a problem with it for the next 2 mo. he came in.

[Hbeernink]

The whole gluten-free thing is totally out of hand.
The thing is, we take food allergies seriously. So don't tell us you're allergic to something when you really aren't. Getting all new mise, cutting boards, putting pots of clean oil on the range to cook your "gluten allergy" fries. It screws us up. We're happy to accommodate, but don't lie about it.

+1 that. I think I live in a gluten-free town these days, it's that bad here. I'm hearing stories daily about how a parent getting their kid off gluten has prevented them from getting colds, flu, cured rickets, healed broken bones, and eased the pain of shin splints.

seriously

[mkriggen]

(a long time ago in a Mexican restaurant far, far away)

ALL cheese chimichanga topped with conqueso..................
..............but I'll have a Diet Coke, I'm watching my weight.

...and do you have "light" sour cream to go with that?

Be well,
Mikey

[mkriggen]

My most ridiculous ever was someone who wanted their entire meal (a salmon entree) put in a blender so they could drink/slurp it. They were elderly or injured or something...but geez.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/19046

Be well,
Mikey

[brainsausage]

About two weeks after opening the BBQ, this guy walks in the door around noontime and asks if we're open (the hours are clearly listed on the front door, and there's a sandwich board on the sidewalk sating said hours as well)

I reply: "Sorry sir, we're not open until 5."

To which he says(in a mildly annoyed voice): "Well, can I just get a pound of pork to go then?!"