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Thread: Contest - Drawing on 12/1 - Win $100 In-Store Credit

  1. #111
    Senior Member Mr.Magnus's Avatar
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    Jul 2012
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    Stockholm, Sweden
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    891
    Buckeye,Maple,Redwood,Oak

  2. #112
    Senior Member Mr.Magnus's Avatar
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    Jul 2012
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    Stockholm, Sweden
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    891
    A man calld the doctor:
    - You have to help me!. My son has swallowed a ink pen!
    - Okay, I'll send an ambulance. It takes about 20 minutes before they arrive.
    - What should I do in the meantime?
    - Use pencil.

  3. #113
    Senior Member Mr.Magnus's Avatar
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    Jul 2012
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    Two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there..."

  4. #114
    I think the entry rules for this giveaway have been confused with Randy's giveaway.
    "Those who say it can't be done are always pasted by those doing it"

  5. #115
    What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?


    George, Fred, John......I mean Bob.
    "Those who say it can't be done are always pasted by those doing it"

  6. #116
    Senior Member hobbitling's Avatar
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    Aug 2013
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    upstate New York
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    144
    I am still in!

  7. #117
    Senior Member Lucretia's Avatar
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    Oct 2011
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    Isle of Lucy
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    While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. Unfortunately, the woman left her glasses on the table and she didn't miss them until they had been driving about twenty minutes. To add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses.

    All the way back, the husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed, fumed, complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. He just wouldn't let up one minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant.

    As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old man yelled to her, "While you're in there, you might as
    well get my hat and the credit card."
    Now is not the time to bother me. And it's always now. Wiley Miller

  8. #118
    Senior Member
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    Nov 2012
    Location
    Chicago, IL
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    69
    Police: where do u live?
    Me: with my parents
    Police: where does ur parents live?
    Me: with me
    Police: where do u all live?
    Me: together
    Police: where is ur house?
    Me: next to my neighbors house
    Police: where is your neighbors house?
    Me: if i tell you u wont believe me.
    Police: tell me
    Me: next to my house

  9. #119
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    Boston Ma
    Posts
    212
    There recalling all the butterball turkeys. They 4got to butter the balls

  10. #120
    What do you get when you cross an alligator with a railroad track?




    Three pieces of alligator.
    one man gathers what another man spills...

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