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Thread: New Contest for August

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Pensacola Tiger View Post
    OK, this isn't a funny or embarrassing story, but I had to share it.

    Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

    The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

    The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into."
    HAHAHA! Nice.

  2. #12
    Senior Member

    SpikeC's Avatar
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    There is an idea that one should not try to reinvent the wheel. I wanted to do a sub-zero quench on a blade that I was making so I needed something to contain the acetone and dry ice to do the deed. Now I could have asked around to see what others had found effective for this, but no, I had to reinvent this wheel. I was at the big Borg Home Improvement store and spotted some black sewer pipe that would hold the blade with little extra, so that I would not need to use an excess of material, with a nice end cap that I could glue on. The glue on should have been something that I considered more thoroughly. When I dropped the dry ice into the acetone it exploded out of the tube, and as I kept adding more acetone to the tube I began to see the problem with my strategy. The black plastic was melting. I got the whole shebang transferred into a metal container before it melted through, but boy howdy what a mess I ended up with. After drying the plastic did peel off of the blade fairly easily, though................
    Spike C
    "The Buddha resides as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of a mountain."
    Pirsig

  3. #13
    This is a true story from when I went to the Naval College in Bergen, Norway. Some friends from school and I were getting ready for a long night on the town and I was standing in line in front of a very popular hotdog stand downtown Bergen. We had been drinking a couple of beers before taking the bus so we were in a pretty happy mood all of us. I got my hotdog and tried to get some ketchup on it. The bottle was nearly empty, so I gave it a good swing. Sharp minded as I was after a few beers I swung the bottle well clear of my own pants not to get stains on them. Ketchup is a real PITA to get out of cotton fabric. After the very nice swing I got the ketchup out an on to my dog, but just before taking the first bite I felt a tapping on my shoulder. I turned around and just behind me stood a couple also ready to go to a party. She was wearing a beautiful light blue dress. A real stunner of a babe but it looked like she had just seen a ghost. Her boyfriend was wearing a white suit... with a ketchup stripe all the way from his knee and across his entire body up to his shoulder. It looked like he had been cut in half with a ninja sword. It was really tragic, but i couldn't help myself from breaking out in laughter. He took a swing at me and landed his fist beautifully on my cheek taking me down in one swing, but lying on the ground I just could not stop laughing. My friends got inbetween and probably saved my life that day. The whole thing ended in me giving the guy $100 for drycleaning and they left in a taxi. Pretty embarrassing, but still quite funny.

    DarKHOeK

  4. #14
    Still Plays With Blocks
    The BoardSMITH's Avatar
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    True story.

    After completing Navy boot camp, I went home for leave before going to the next duty station. As a raw recruit, my uniform was perfect, WHITE and starched. I didn't want to look bad reporting for my first duty. After the plane left the ground the stewardess came around asking for drink orders. I was in the aisle seat and the guy next to me ordered coffee. You guessed it, the plane hit a bump as the coffee cup was passing over me and it spilled all over my right leg, abdomen and up to my web belt. I looked down to see my perfect tropical whites a tragic mess. The stewardess retreated for another cup, a pillow case and a can of club soda. After she handed my neighbor a fresh cup, she opened the club soda and doused the pillow case and then proceeded to wipe down my trousers removing the offending stain. My neighbor was getting quite a kick out of this as he watched my white knuckled grip on the arm rests and the expression on my face. I never got to thank her for the bath, I was to excited to remember.

  5. #15
    Weird Wood Pusher Burl Source's Avatar
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    Sorry I got tied up yesterday and forgot to do the drawing.
    I went to Random.org and told it to pick a number between 1 and 14.
    The number it selected was #10
    Congratulations Pensacola Tiger..........again!
    Mark Farley / It's a Burl
    Phone 541-592-5071, Email burlsource@gmail.com
    Visit our web store

  6. #16
    Senior Member

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    But I can't even win a free ticket in the lottery!

    Thanks, Mark!
    “Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”

  7. #17
    Senior Member/ Internet Hooligan
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    LOL. Nice job, Rick. Hax.

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