Kitchen crimes

This is a confessional.

This is me.... Or my once lovely Boardsmith board more accurately. It's a nice 18x24 that has seen a hard life. Not from pro use but from people and households with no respect.

First, only a few of these crimes are mine. Just a couple of carbon knife stains are from my neglect while cooking ( drinking excessively while cooking) over the last 5 years. The rest, the dozen or so burn rings, uncountable carbon knife stains and the horrid popped seams and cracks (close up picture) are the work of others. The "don't touch the carbon knives while I'm gone" were followed weeks later by ... "How was I supposed to to know which ones were carbon" ( fair enough) ... The popped seams and cracks in the end grain are a mystery and no one will admit to leaving a hot pot full of somthing on it..... I have my suspicions though. I'm guessing the same person who I caught seconds after placing a pan of hot oil use for cooking Chiles Rellenos smack on the middle of the board. As often as I have screamed don't do it, people seem to think that cutting boards are trivets. Death by a thousand mocha pot burns... As evident on the board.

I will admit I have been laxed in my board butter application and it is in serious need of a sanding, scraping and buttering. But I wanted to show my Kitchen crime as testimony to being human.

What's your Kitchen crime?

Funnily enough if it's is a few years old i think those things add character. At least the burn marks. So long as they haven't effected the flatness of the surface.

As for sanding etc. How does one do that. I tried it on my home made board but one pass and the paper was all gunked up. Is it just being persistent and realising it will take hours?

malexthekid said:

Funnily enough if it's is a few years old i think those things add character. At least the burn marks. So long as they haven't effected the flatness of the surface.

As for sanding etc. How does one do that. I tried it on my home made board but one pass and the paper was all gunked up. Is it just being persistent and realising it will take hours?

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I don't mind the character really but the cracks just kill me. You might be able to run it threw a planer if the blades are very sharp, the corners beveled and you take off tiny bites. Otherwise a good sharp scraper can do wonders. The oil/wax finish is a mess on paper and I use a Fein sander and burn threw a bunch of expensive paper but it does work if you really need to take odd some wood. This board just really needs scraping. Sharpening and using scrapers, now there is a long thread in the making.

I don't polish my copper pots and pans ever.

Sometimes I'll add a tiny bit of brown gravy color to sauces if the color is too pale.

I once cracked my Italian marble countertop by placing a red hot skillet on it during a cool morning. Cost a fortune to replace it and the natural pattern on the new isn't as good looking as the old...

I use way more fat in my cooking than can be considered healthy by any standard. Tasty, but it adds up over time.

I mainly use a teak cutting board.

I get p***ed off at family members for messing up dishes. I'm a real judgmental jerk in the kitchen.

Newbflat said:

I don't mind the character really but the cracks just kill me. You might be able to run it threw a planer if the blades are very sharp, the corners beveled and you take off tiny bites. Otherwise a good sharp scraper can do wonders. The oil/wax finish is a mess on paper and I use a Fein sander and burn threw a bunch of expensive paper but it does work if you really need to take odd some wood. This board just really needs scraping. Sharpening and using scrapers, now there is a long thread in the making.

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Sounds like a great WIP photo thread to me

O

DamageInc said:

I don't polish my copper pots and pans ever.

Sometimes I'll add a tiny bit of brown gravy color to sauces if the color is too pale.

I once cracked my Italian marble countertop by placing a red hot skillet on it during a cool morning. Cost a fortune to replace it and the natural pattern on the new isn't as good looking as the old...

I use way more fat in my cooking than can be considered healthy by any standard. Tasty, but it adds up over time.

I mainly use a teak cutting board.

I get p***ed off at family members for messing up dishes. I'm a real judgmental jerk in the kitchen.

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Lol...

A Teak cutting board! :scared4:... The horrors.

I never polish my copper ether. I think it looks super with its food stained patina. But my pot still hasn't fully recovered from being put threw the dishwasher. A year later and a lot of use and it still looks weird. No one washes the copper or steel and cast iron pans but me... Under penitly of death.

I have a note on my dishwasher that states: "If it's not stainless steel, plastic, or glass, keep it the hell away."

I also lost a well seasoned carbon steel skillet to steel wool once when my sister decided to clean it. Not a good day.

I use the pre minced garlic in a jar more than I should.

At home, we cook almost everything in a toaster oven.

My kitchen crime is marrying the only Sicilian/Italian woman on earth who cannot cook for her life! Although after thinking about it for a minute, The real crime may be when I do let her attempt to cook. ----Love you honey!!!!:running:

My kitchen crime: 'homemade' chicken noodle soup with Campbell's cream of chicken....and also instant noodle bowls, I just love those damn things...

I fully handed over my Risotto-making to our new Thermomix and completely stopped stiring it slowly and endlessly by hand with a wooden spoon like a proper italian mama ... well, papa, rather...

Ok, one more shamful thing.

There are my knives in a rack that get lots of love and care. Then there is the knife block that has the knives the rest of the house can use. Mine only see the best of stones and the carbon blades finished on J-Nats. The knife block with the house has mostly Shuns..petty and paring , a Mac bread knife and three very nice Asai Damascus knives, a 180 gyuto, petty and paring. Not bad for a home beater set. I don't use them at all as I always find it a bit depressing how they are used and abused. Everyone thinks I keep them in tip top shape and lovingly cared for on my "precious" stones....

What they don't know is that 8 out of 10 times I take a diamond steel out of the drawer (be it very fine!) and sharpen them with that. Yes, I sharpen a $300+ Asai gyuto on a diamond steel.. The petty and paring as well. 😔

I have no doubts that board would love to be buttered up back to life.

But frankly, a kitchen should be a crime scene anyways, or a Martha Stewart I guess

DamageInc said:

I have a note on my dishwasher that states: "If it's not stainless steel, plastic, or glass, keep it the hell away."

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I have the appointment with my girlfriend that she keeps my knife out of the dishwasher as long as I keep her wine glasses out of it. So no glass either...

Cashn said:

I use the pre minced garlic in a jar more than I should.

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I've even used garlic powder. If I'm not mistaken it's still in the kitchen.

mark76 said:

I've even used garlic powder. If I'm not mistaken it's still in the kitchen.

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I don't have a problem with garlic powder...but I don't consider a substitute for fresh garlic--that would be the crime!--I use it in addition to add a different flavor.

I am a pre-minced garlic user, at least when im cooking for just the wife and I. So much easier and quicker when you need a few cloves done. Especially after a long day at work and then not getting home from the gym until 7.30.

But if I'm cooking something special it is fresh all the way. Though i shoulf start going to the local farmers market to see if i can find some nicer stuff.

malexthekid said:

Though i shoulf start going to the local farmers market to see if i can find some nicer stuff.

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That is "Epic", Alex ... excuse me for the pun ...

I loved going Epic market early Saturday morning. It has been many years now since my last visit.

I'll never understand the pre-minced garlic thing. It takes less than 30 seconds to chop a clove of garlic.

schanop said:

That is "Epic", Alex ... excuse me for the pun ...

I loved going Epic market early Saturday morning. It has been many years now since my last visit.

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Yeah i haven't been yet, and i live 5 minutes down the road 😀

Maybe for you... it's more that i can't have just one clove its gotta be 5 or 6.... and the supermarket stuff doesnt keep well.

Though i dif make my own minced garlic recently and it is going well

Just wanted to suggest to those that use the store bought (which is very bitter, salty and to me metallic tasting), why not consider:

1.) Making a big batch of confit garlic It keeps in the refrigerator for years. I buy 5 pound bags of shelled garlic from Costco. Put them in a pressure cooker with a few cups of oil, dash of salt, dash of red pepper flake and a TBLS of baking soda. Cook under pressure for for 30 minutes. Cool, jar.

2.) Take fresh peeled garlic and just soak it in white vinegar. Will turn blue, then back to a cured white. Use as fresh, you won't taste the vinegar at all. Use the garlic vinegar.

3.) Take fresh peeled garlic, salt it, sprinkle some canning Fruit Fresh and process in a food processor. Keeps for years in refrigerator.

Life's too short to use store bought canned garlic, stock or tomato sauce. Even though I make my own catsup, I do buy mayonnaise. There I said it, my kitchen crime is store bought mayonnaise.

DamageInc said:

I'll never understand the pre-minced garlic thing. It takes less than 30 seconds to chop a clove of garlic.

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Now now.... No shaming. This is a safe place.

P

Mucho Bocho said:

Just wanted to suggest to those that use the store bought (which is very bitter, salty and to me metallic tasting), why not consider:

1.) Making a big batch of confit garlic It keeps in the refrigerator for years. I buy 5 pound bags of shelled garlic from Costco. Put them in a pressure cooker with a few cups of oil, dash of salt, dash of red pepper flake and a TBLS of baking soda. Cook under pressure for for 30 minutes. Cool, jar.

2.) Take fresh peeled garlic and just soak it in white vinegar. Will turn blue, then back to a cured white. Use as fresh, you won't taste the vinegar at all. Use the garlic vinegar.

3.) Take fresh peeled garlic, salt it, sprinkle some canning Fruit Fresh and process in a food processor. Keeps for years in refrigerator.

Life's too short to use store bought canned garlic, stock or tomato sauce. Even though I make my own catsup, I do buy mayonnaise. There I said it, my kitchen crime is store bought mayonnaise.

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Helpful suggestions ....

Your only crime is store bought mayo? ..................... Your hiding something really bad.

Mucho Bocho said:

Just wanted to suggest to those that use the store bought (which is very bitter, salty and to me metallic tasting), why not consider:

1.) Making a big batch of confit garlic It keeps in the refrigerator for years. I buy 5 pound bags of shelled garlic from Costco. Put them in a pressure cooker with a few cups of oil, dash of salt, dash of red pepper flake and a TBLS of baking soda. Cook under pressure for for 30 minutes. Cool, jar.

2.) Take fresh peeled garlic and just soak it in white vinegar. Will turn blue, then back to a cured white. Use as fresh, you won't taste the vinegar at all. Use the garlic vinegar.

3.) Take fresh peeled garlic, salt it, sprinkle some canning Fruit Fresh and process in a food processor. Keeps for years in refrigerator.

Life's too short to use store bought canned garlic, stock or tomato sauce. Even though I make my own catsup, I do buy mayonnaise. There I said it, my kitchen crime is store bought mayonnaise.

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Thanks for the suggestions Mucho. I minced some myself but it has turned blue. Still tastes fine but the colour is off putting.

The confit garlic goes great on a nice steak. And the garlic oil is awesome for cooking or to use with nice bread.

Mucho Bocho said:

2.) Take fresh peeled garlic and just soak it in white vinegar. Will turn blue, then back to a cured white. Use as fresh, you won't taste the vinegar at all. Use the garlic vinegar.

3.) Take fresh peeled garlic, salt it, sprinkle some canning Fruit Fresh and process in a food processor. Keeps for years in refrigerator.

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Those indeed sound like great tips, thanks! I'm gonna try #2. And can you tell me what canning Fruit Fresh is? (I don't live in the US.)

And by the way, I make my own mayonnaise. Admitted, in the way Gordon Ramsey does it in his commercial for Bamix.

Newbflat said:

P

Helpful suggestions ....

Your only crime is store bought mayo? ..................... Your hiding something really bad.

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To be honest, I can't stand the taste of store bought mayo. In my kitchen it would be considered a crime. Takes 4 minutes to make a batch of homemade mayo and it keeps for 10 days in the fridge and tastes infinitely better. Over and done.

I know this is a safe place, but I just can't help myself. Sorry guys.

DamageInc said:

To be honest, I can't stand the taste of store bought mayo. In my kitchen it would be considered a crime. Takes 4 minutes to make a batch of homemade mayo and it keeps for 10 days in the fridge and tastes infinitely better. Over and done.

I know this is a safe place, but I just can't help myself. Sorry guys.

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I would generally agree, however Safeways own brand 'Real Mayonnaise" is actually pretty good.

Mucho Bocho said:

1.) Making a big batch of confit garlic It keeps in the refrigerator for years. I buy 5 pound bags of shelled garlic from Costco. Put them in a pressure cooker with a few cups of oil, dash of salt, dash of red pepper flake and a TBLS of baking soda. Cook under pressure for for 30 minutes. Cool, jar.

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I did this around 2 years ago, following Dennis' advice...I'm a huge fan of it, I've had it in my fridge constantly since that day.

Also, when I have more than 3-4 cloves to deal with, I break out the SS bowls. I've peeled up to 5 heads of garlic in under 10 minutes on several occasions...100% my go-to technique with any non-trivial amount of garlic.

malexthekid said:

I am a pre-minced garlic user, at least when im cooking for just the wife and I. So much easier and quicker when you need a few cloves done. Especially after a long day at work and then not getting home from the gym until 7.30.

But if I'm cooking something special it is fresh all the way. Though i shoulf start going to the local farmers market to see if i can find some nicer stuff.

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But I thought the whole point was to have an excuse to cut stuff with ridiculously sharp knives....if you want easy go out to dinner! I do have to admit I was just recently indoctrinated into the school of peeling garlic cloves with two ceramic bowls - now THAT is a cool trick.