I like your story the best. By far.I was sharpening my knife when a server reached into my cooler, were they apparently had their &%^$ing lunch and hit my elbow with the door, which in turn cut off my right hand pinky at the first joint. I turned around and started screaming at him for being on the line,while at the same time waving my hand at him and covering him with blood. He ran screaming from the restaurant and we never saw him again. Apparently it was Ramadan and he was breaking his fast, when I the catholic covered him in unclean infidel blood. I didn't know. I was just pissed he was on my line and cut my finger off. He was there for 8 years. went to the emergency room after I got the rush done. about an hour later. Had a beautiful Spanish doctor sewed my finger back on and life was good.
Seven years later I was working on Thanksgiving day and cut off the first joint of my middle finger using a dull, filthy serrated house knife while cutting a bagel of all things. I went to a different emergency room across town and the same beautiful Spanish doctor was there and this time she also used some sort of glue to hold the flesh on. and life was good. She did tell me to get out of this business or it was going to kill me. little did she know a couple of years later it actually did.