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I know this is a knife forum, but wanted to post this anyway in case it helps just one person.
A very dear friend just lost their father unexpectedly. Their mother is reeling and my husband and I are trying to help where we can as our areas of expertise lay.
The father had a computer which was password protected. Thinking he was invincible, the father didn't share the password with anyone. All finances are stored on the computer. My husband will try to hack the password next weekend.
Fortunately the mother did pay most of the bills. Since my friend is kind of in shutdown mode I sent them the following email (at their request) as kind of a financial reminder what should be done. Remember, I'm an accountant by training and have taken several business law classes.
"Again, so sorry for your loss, please pass our thoughts on to your mom as well.
A few thoughts, take them all as applied to general situations.
1. Take care of yourself
2. Take care of your mom
3. Get several copies of the death certificate.
4. Get your Dad's wallet and call every credit card company and have him removed as a primary user. HOPEFULLY your mom is primary on at least one credit card, and if not, you may need to leave one open until she can open a card in her own name if any credit card company will not transfer the primary card to her.
5. On the above they may ask if you have power of attorney, ask your mom if it's ok for you to take care of this for her. Then you can answer yes. (technically this is not correct, but I have a blank POA template to send them in case anyone asks)
6. The funeral home will notify the social security administration, so if your Dad was getting SS this will be taken care of. Your Mom's amount will adjust to survivor benefits (100% of your dad's amount if your mom is 65 or older). So instead of getting 150% benefit (100% his, % hers) you mom will now only get the 100% of his. I'm assuming his benefit is greater than hers in terms of work years.
7. I don't know if you dad had a pension, and what payout type he elected. If your mom doesn't know she should call their union representative and they will walk her through what is set up. Usually when someone retires they elect why type of pension payout to take, which impacts the amount of the pension received. I can walk your mom through this (your husband probably has some experience on this with his company pension as well). Just let me know.
8. While on the phone with the union rep check for life insurance through the union/prior job. Might as well check for retiree medical coverage if you don't know the situation there.
9. Go with your mom to the bank and have your dad taken off any bank accounts. I would highly suggest you get yourself added (in case something happens to your mom). I don't suggest your brother for obvious reasons. If your mom does want to have your brother on an account, open one up and keep a modest amount of money in it.
10. Same for any brokerage accounts - I hope any he had was all with one broker. I'm going to ASSUME the will left the lions share to your mom.
11. Speaking of your brother, I have no idea of the dynamics, BUT if there is any hint or fear of him taking advantage of your mom financially in any way make sure you communicate to him that you will be watching things like a hawk, and as the executor have a fiduciary responsibility to press charges if wrongdoing is suspected.
12. Not to beat the above to death, but people with dependency issues obviously have... issues. Remind your mom that your brother is a grown assed adult and should not be counting on his aging parent for support.
13. #11 is not all ********. As the executor you are held personally responsible for carrying out the directions in the will. If you deviate from the will others have the right to go against you and your assets. That would be extreme, but it's something you should be aware of.
14. Since your mom paid most of the bills you're kinda good here. It wouldn't hurt to go over what she paid to make sure nothing big is missed (Real estate taxes, house insurance, etc). Pulling the last 12 months of bank statements and going over transactions is very helpful. If it were me I would make a payment calendar for her in case she needs to operate on autopilot for awhile.
15. Check for life insurance and file claims. This is a bit harder because it's very possible he's no longer paying premiums if the policy is mature (like one of mine is). Have your mom watch for statements in the mail. Most insurance companies issue at least an annual statement or privacy notice.
16. Your mom will be going through a major shock (as will you). It is generally recommended no major lifestyle changes be made for at least a year (moving, selling home, etc).
I went through this with my mom. My brother thought I was a total cold hearted ***** for focusing on financial issues but it kept me together and REALLY helped my dad out when everyone had cleared out (one less thing for him to worry about). So what I'm saying is don't feel bad for focusing on numbers, you are helping your mom out.
A lot of the above is financially focused, and while I don't mean to sound clinical, that's what I do. Remember death notices in the paper are a trigger to identity thieves and predators who want to take advantage of others. No, I'm not saying don't publish, just take precautions.
With the above in mind you or your mom should pull a credit report on your dad's SS number in three months to check for accounts which should be closed, and to make sure no new ones were opened."
While this is focused on US residents, I think a lot of it would carry to other situations as well.
A very dear friend just lost their father unexpectedly. Their mother is reeling and my husband and I are trying to help where we can as our areas of expertise lay.
The father had a computer which was password protected. Thinking he was invincible, the father didn't share the password with anyone. All finances are stored on the computer. My husband will try to hack the password next weekend.
Fortunately the mother did pay most of the bills. Since my friend is kind of in shutdown mode I sent them the following email (at their request) as kind of a financial reminder what should be done. Remember, I'm an accountant by training and have taken several business law classes.
"Again, so sorry for your loss, please pass our thoughts on to your mom as well.
A few thoughts, take them all as applied to general situations.
1. Take care of yourself
2. Take care of your mom
3. Get several copies of the death certificate.
4. Get your Dad's wallet and call every credit card company and have him removed as a primary user. HOPEFULLY your mom is primary on at least one credit card, and if not, you may need to leave one open until she can open a card in her own name if any credit card company will not transfer the primary card to her.
5. On the above they may ask if you have power of attorney, ask your mom if it's ok for you to take care of this for her. Then you can answer yes. (technically this is not correct, but I have a blank POA template to send them in case anyone asks)
6. The funeral home will notify the social security administration, so if your Dad was getting SS this will be taken care of. Your Mom's amount will adjust to survivor benefits (100% of your dad's amount if your mom is 65 or older). So instead of getting 150% benefit (100% his, % hers) you mom will now only get the 100% of his. I'm assuming his benefit is greater than hers in terms of work years.
7. I don't know if you dad had a pension, and what payout type he elected. If your mom doesn't know she should call their union representative and they will walk her through what is set up. Usually when someone retires they elect why type of pension payout to take, which impacts the amount of the pension received. I can walk your mom through this (your husband probably has some experience on this with his company pension as well). Just let me know.
8. While on the phone with the union rep check for life insurance through the union/prior job. Might as well check for retiree medical coverage if you don't know the situation there.
9. Go with your mom to the bank and have your dad taken off any bank accounts. I would highly suggest you get yourself added (in case something happens to your mom). I don't suggest your brother for obvious reasons. If your mom does want to have your brother on an account, open one up and keep a modest amount of money in it.
10. Same for any brokerage accounts - I hope any he had was all with one broker. I'm going to ASSUME the will left the lions share to your mom.
11. Speaking of your brother, I have no idea of the dynamics, BUT if there is any hint or fear of him taking advantage of your mom financially in any way make sure you communicate to him that you will be watching things like a hawk, and as the executor have a fiduciary responsibility to press charges if wrongdoing is suspected.
12. Not to beat the above to death, but people with dependency issues obviously have... issues. Remind your mom that your brother is a grown assed adult and should not be counting on his aging parent for support.
13. #11 is not all ********. As the executor you are held personally responsible for carrying out the directions in the will. If you deviate from the will others have the right to go against you and your assets. That would be extreme, but it's something you should be aware of.
14. Since your mom paid most of the bills you're kinda good here. It wouldn't hurt to go over what she paid to make sure nothing big is missed (Real estate taxes, house insurance, etc). Pulling the last 12 months of bank statements and going over transactions is very helpful. If it were me I would make a payment calendar for her in case she needs to operate on autopilot for awhile.
15. Check for life insurance and file claims. This is a bit harder because it's very possible he's no longer paying premiums if the policy is mature (like one of mine is). Have your mom watch for statements in the mail. Most insurance companies issue at least an annual statement or privacy notice.
16. Your mom will be going through a major shock (as will you). It is generally recommended no major lifestyle changes be made for at least a year (moving, selling home, etc).
I went through this with my mom. My brother thought I was a total cold hearted ***** for focusing on financial issues but it kept me together and REALLY helped my dad out when everyone had cleared out (one less thing for him to worry about). So what I'm saying is don't feel bad for focusing on numbers, you are helping your mom out.
A lot of the above is financially focused, and while I don't mean to sound clinical, that's what I do. Remember death notices in the paper are a trigger to identity thieves and predators who want to take advantage of others. No, I'm not saying don't publish, just take precautions.
With the above in mind you or your mom should pull a credit report on your dad's SS number in three months to check for accounts which should be closed, and to make sure no new ones were opened."
While this is focused on US residents, I think a lot of it would carry to other situations as well.
