http://deletethisnow.com/waffle-house/
laughed my ass off
(copied and pasted from the above link)
Original Ad: Waffle House Looking For Night Shift Cook. Includes pay, free meals, and a positive working environment.
ME:
Hi, Im a very experienced chef who is interested in the position. This sounds perfect! Much appreciated Michael Coulier
PAUL:
Thank you for your interest, Michael. What is your passed experience? Paul Joseph, Wafflehouse GM
ME:
Paul, Ive been a world-class chef for the last decade. My last job was at Alinea in Chicago; we were the ONLY restaurant to receive a 3-star Michelin rating, and weve had one EVERY year these ratings have ever been published!
PAUL:
Thats pretty impressive, but you sound overqualified for this job. Why did you leave?
ME:
Forbes magazine.
PAUL:
What did they do?
ME:
Its what they DIDNT do, which was give us a top Forbes Restaurant Rating for Ambience & Decor. Apparently, they had an issue with the fact we serve hollow ice cubes instead of solid, which has nothing to do with Ambience or Decor. The nerve! I have no time for dishonesty, so I left. I can tolerate anything but a LIAR.
PAUL:
What was youre salary at the restaurant?
ME:
About $140,000 a year.
PAUL:
Im not a fan of liars either. So I dont want to insult you or waste your time this is a minimum wage night shift position, which pays $7.25 per hour.
ME:
Until I work it, then youll be begging me to take a raise!
PAUL:
Come again?
ME:
The quality of my Pecan Waffle, the personality of my smothered hashbrowns, the sheer emotion I put behind my 2-egg breakfast with sausage and biscuit is simply TO DIE FOR.
PAUL:
Im sure your fantastic in the kitchen, we just cant afford you.
ME:
Im happy to work your rate. Just give me a shot, sir.
PAUL:
Can you start tonight at 8pm?
ME:
Of course. Lets ride the gravy train!
PAUL:
Alright. Ill send a link with directions and all the info. Do you have any questions?
ME:
Yes, who will be my Sous Chef and Line Chef?
PAUL:
We dont really use those terms, but Randy will help you on the grill, and Shaniqua will be running out your trash.
ME:
I see. And I assume you have Gesshin Sharpening Stones?
PAUL:
Ive never heard of those.
ME:
No problem, Ill bring mine. How about a Cake Tester?
PAUL:
We dont even serve cake.
ME:
You do now! The establishment must have a Victorinox Serrated 10-Inch Knife, correct?
PAUL:
We have plenty of knives.
ME:
Acceptable. A Durand Corkscrew and Zalto Bordeaux Glassware? (For wine, obviously)
PAUL:
This is a Waffle House. There is no wine.
ME:
Its for me; I drink a ton when I cook. Please tell me my kitchen comes equipped with a Polyscience 300 Series Chamber Vacuum Sealer?
PAUL:
Again, this is Waffle House. Not even Red Lobster has that. Were not an award-winning restuarnt! Were a low-budget greasy spoon that caters to the poor and drunk
ME:
Excellent point. Have you thought about using that as your ad slogan?
PAUL:
Hell, no! Wed lose business, Cant do that!
ME:
Thats because youre a ******* LIAR.
laughed my ass off
(copied and pasted from the above link)
Original Ad: Waffle House Looking For Night Shift Cook. Includes pay, free meals, and a positive working environment.
ME:
Hi, Im a very experienced chef who is interested in the position. This sounds perfect! Much appreciated Michael Coulier
PAUL:
Thank you for your interest, Michael. What is your passed experience? Paul Joseph, Wafflehouse GM
ME:
Paul, Ive been a world-class chef for the last decade. My last job was at Alinea in Chicago; we were the ONLY restaurant to receive a 3-star Michelin rating, and weve had one EVERY year these ratings have ever been published!
PAUL:
Thats pretty impressive, but you sound overqualified for this job. Why did you leave?
ME:
Forbes magazine.
PAUL:
What did they do?
ME:
Its what they DIDNT do, which was give us a top Forbes Restaurant Rating for Ambience & Decor. Apparently, they had an issue with the fact we serve hollow ice cubes instead of solid, which has nothing to do with Ambience or Decor. The nerve! I have no time for dishonesty, so I left. I can tolerate anything but a LIAR.
PAUL:
What was youre salary at the restaurant?
ME:
About $140,000 a year.
PAUL:
Im not a fan of liars either. So I dont want to insult you or waste your time this is a minimum wage night shift position, which pays $7.25 per hour.
ME:
Until I work it, then youll be begging me to take a raise!
PAUL:
Come again?
ME:
The quality of my Pecan Waffle, the personality of my smothered hashbrowns, the sheer emotion I put behind my 2-egg breakfast with sausage and biscuit is simply TO DIE FOR.
PAUL:
Im sure your fantastic in the kitchen, we just cant afford you.
ME:
Im happy to work your rate. Just give me a shot, sir.
PAUL:
Can you start tonight at 8pm?
ME:
Of course. Lets ride the gravy train!
PAUL:
Alright. Ill send a link with directions and all the info. Do you have any questions?
ME:
Yes, who will be my Sous Chef and Line Chef?
PAUL:
We dont really use those terms, but Randy will help you on the grill, and Shaniqua will be running out your trash.
ME:
I see. And I assume you have Gesshin Sharpening Stones?
PAUL:
Ive never heard of those.
ME:
No problem, Ill bring mine. How about a Cake Tester?
PAUL:
We dont even serve cake.
ME:
You do now! The establishment must have a Victorinox Serrated 10-Inch Knife, correct?
PAUL:
We have plenty of knives.
ME:
Acceptable. A Durand Corkscrew and Zalto Bordeaux Glassware? (For wine, obviously)
PAUL:
This is a Waffle House. There is no wine.
ME:
Its for me; I drink a ton when I cook. Please tell me my kitchen comes equipped with a Polyscience 300 Series Chamber Vacuum Sealer?
PAUL:
Again, this is Waffle House. Not even Red Lobster has that. Were not an award-winning restuarnt! Were a low-budget greasy spoon that caters to the poor and drunk
ME:
Excellent point. Have you thought about using that as your ad slogan?
PAUL:
Hell, no! Wed lose business, Cant do that!
ME:
Thats because youre a ******* LIAR.
