Quantcast
Doctor, doctor
+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 16

Thread: Doctor, doctor

  1. #1
    Dream Burls's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    1,123

    Doctor, doctor

    So I went to the doctor the other day. I said "Doc, I have a real problem. Lately I've been seeing burl everywhere I look". The thing is, up until a few months ago the only burls I knew were Milton and Ives (not to be confused with Currier and Ives). Then I registered with Kitchen Knife Forums and the next thing I knew I was seeing burl patterns in my linguini, oil slicks, tie dye shirts (yes, I'm that old) and when I poured milk into my coffee. Even when I close my eyes, there they are: patterns of swirling darks and lights enticingly intertwining with each other as if embracing before a long separation.

    The doctor said "Don't worry, I've seen this type of thing many times before. It usually occurs in the early stages of an affliction that affects a relatively small segment of the population." He called it "cellulose envy" and told me that while the symptoms can be very dramatic there are simple, yet often expensive remedies. He suggested I stay away from KKF for a week (fat chance) and try whittling. If that didn't work, he said the only thing left to do was buy a very expensive custom Japanese knife and spend many hours agonizing over what wood(s) to use for the handle.

    I'm happy to report that while whittling was a bust, I'm well on my way to a cure.
    Please visit my store at www.dreamburls.com Imagine the possibilities!
    Email me at service@dreamburls.com
    Visit our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/dream.burls
    All sales are backed with a no questions asked money back guarantee.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Deckhand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Costa Mesa California
    Posts
    1,738
    It's ok this is where the groups meet for this affliction.

  3. #3

    Twistington's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Skelleftea, Sweden
    Posts
    470
    "I'm well on my way to a cure." Sorry to break this for you, it's autoimmune... you can only feed it with blocks of wood to keep it at bay(not doing so can affect your sleep pattern).
    -"we're gonna make gluten free lasagna"

  4. #4
    Das HandleMeister apicius9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Honolulu, HI
    Posts
    3,130
    Quote Originally Posted by Twistington View Post
    "I'm well on my way to a cure." Sorry to break this for you, it's autoimmune... you can only feed it with blocks of wood to keep it at bay(not doing so can affect your sleep pattern).
    +1 - and I am a doctor, too

    Stefan

  5. #5
    Pabloz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Albuquerque, New Mexico
    Posts
    353
    Quote Originally Posted by apicius9 View Post
    +1 - and I am a doctor, too

    Stefan

    And your prescription FEEDS the addiction!!!!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Chifunda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    295
    Quote Originally Posted by Twistington View Post
    ...you can only feed it with blocks of wood to keep it at bay
    Which in some patients triggers an abnormal fear of termites and woodpeckers.

  7. #7
    Senior Member DeepCSweede's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Mequon, WI
    Posts
    1,226
    Unfortunately, like vicodin - it is only a short term cure that once taken, will require another shot and then another and so on and so on...The affliction gets even worse when you have pulled yourself even deeper by buying several blocks of beautiful wood with no knives to go with it.

    It is a cruel cycle.

    Its kind of like I got a fever and the only thing that can cure it is more burl!!

  8. #8
    Pabloz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Albuquerque, New Mexico
    Posts
    353
    Quote Originally Posted by Chifunda View Post
    Which in some patients triggers an abnormal fear of termites and woodpeckers.

    and "sticky" fingers everywhere.

  9. #9
    Dream Burls's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    1,123
    Yeah, I was afraid it was systemic. I guess there are worse vices.
    Please visit my store at www.dreamburls.com Imagine the possibilities!
    Email me at service@dreamburls.com
    Visit our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/dream.burls
    All sales are backed with a no questions asked money back guarantee.

  10. #10
    Pabloz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Albuquerque, New Mexico
    Posts
    353
    Quote Originally Posted by Uptothehilt View Post
    I guess there are worse vices.
    NOPE!!!!!

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts