So I went to the doctor the other day. I said "Doc, I have a real problem. Lately I've been seeing burl everywhere I look". The thing is, up until a few months ago the only burls I knew were Milton and Ives (not to be confused with Currier and Ives). Then I registered with Kitchen Knife Forums and the next thing I knew I was seeing burl patterns in my linguini, oil slicks, tie dye shirts (yes, I'm that old) and when I poured milk into my coffee. Even when I close my eyes, there they are: patterns of swirling darks and lights enticingly intertwining with each other as if embracing before a long separation.
The doctor said "Don't worry, I've seen this type of thing many times before. It usually occurs in the early stages of an affliction that affects a relatively small segment of the population." He called it "cellulose envy" and told me that while the symptoms can be very dramatic there are simple, yet often expensive remedies. He suggested I stay away from KKF for a week (fat chance) and try whittling. If that didn't work, he said the only thing left to do was buy a very expensive custom Japanese knife and spend many hours agonizing over what wood(s) to use for the handle.
I'm happy to report that while whittling was a bust, I'm well on my way to a cure.