Office Shenanigans. What happens behind the scenes at your work?

In the break room the Korin staff makes fun of fruits with weird names like mission figs.

What happens behind the scenes at your work?

..well at a hotel i worked at last summer, on my first day the chefs planted a chopped of salmons head with a box of matches in it's mouth in the toilet of the ladies bathroom.
To clarify, it was placed inside the bowl of the toilet so when they opened the lid they'd see that something fishy was going on

The first that comes to me. I assume we could call it art.

Candlejack said:

..well at a hotel i worked at last summer, on my first day the chefs planted a chopped of salmons head with a box of matches in it's mouth in the toilet of the ladies bathroom.
To clarify, it was placed inside the bowl of the toilet so when they opened the lid they'd see that something fishy was going on

The first that comes to me. I assume we could call it art.

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ROFL Thats hilarious. :rofl2:

We had an officemate go on a hiking trip to Africa. Before he left there was a lot of ribbing about getting eaten by lions. While he was gone, we made a lion out of papier mache (about the size of a german shepherd) and put it in his cubicle with assorted rubber body parts and ripped up, "blood stained" clothes as a welcome home present.

Lucretia said:

We had an officemate go on a hiking trip to Africa. Before he left there was a lot of ribbing about getting eaten by lions. While he was gone, we made a lion out of papier mache (about the size of a german shepherd) and put it in his cubicle with assorted rubber body parts and ripped up, "blood stained" clothes as a welcome home present.

Click to expand...

Haha, that's much effort put into it.

And when you mention lions, the chef at the hotel above, is a short elderly german mythomaniac. With lots of stories, i don't think i can make them justice in english but i'll try this one first.

He's bragged a few times about going to Namibia to hunt (once he was shot in the leg by an AK in his sleep, but he didn't wake up from it no, he woke up to go and take a piss, and then he felt his leg was wet and realized he's been shot. This is the kind of guy we're dealing with here)

He came back to the kitchen and described a lion after someone mentioned it. He came there, high and mighty with a mission to teach. "You guys may have seen on TV and believe that lions are small, but i can tell you, i've been in namiiiibiiiaa and i can tell you.. they're 12 meters long, 3 meters wide and can swallow a human in one bite." I kid you not, he kidded us not. He tried to convince us of this.

Also while in Namibia he was supposedly convinced to shoot an elephant by a park ranger.


Oh, and he's served Gandhi pink pigs-meat with unsalted rice during the nobel-dinner or something like that. And went to what's it called in english "mandatory military training" with Elvis in germany, with a fast calculation among us chefs we realized that our Chef, the badass that he is, did his military training when he was well under 10 years old.

My boss had lunch every day with her husband behind closed doors. We forged a letter to all employees from a high-up muckety-muck, stating something to the effect that there had been reports of "afternoon delight" at the workplace and such behavior would not be tolerated; i.e. violators would lose access to private areas. We posted the letter on her door frame, then pulled the door off the hinges and hid it.

Working at home now, the pranks have a lot more to do with cleverly sticking each other with the child that is being the most annoying at the time. Haha, you've got the whiney baby, and mine is coloring quietly! Victory!

But when I was catering, nobody, I mean NOBODY, could get a straight answer. Not even the boss. Every answer from every person in the kitchen was so straight faced and sarcastic that new people often wandered around for a good hour trying to figure out the answer to a simple question. My specialty was not answering the question, and getting the other person locked into a totally unrelated conversation about something I want to talk about. The boss gave warnings about people standing near my prep table, like I'm a verbal black hole.

One of the guys at work (security job with cars like police cars, lights, sirens, etc) thought he was better than everyone else and parked his cruiser right in front of the front steps to the building (yes, on the sidewalk almost on top of the steps). Two of the cruisers were on a common key. I had the other key, so I went into the cruiser, turned on all of the lights, siren, radios, heater in the midled of the summer, strobe lights, windshield washers, etc. When he started the car, everything turned on all at once. Never saw him move so fast to turn everything off He stopped parking on the sidewalk/grass though!

Other times, someone would leave some of their gear on the briefing room table, so we hide the stuff on them.

We found out that a guy had a spare set of keys to his car in his desk. He was in an all day review so everyone used his car to run errands. We all took pictures of his car in various places around town and then sent them to him a couple of weeks later. He went balistic but nobody fessed up. He still keeps a spare set of keys to his car in his desk...dumbass.

A place where I worked years ago had lots of practical jokers.
One of the guys who worked there would always get angry when people were goofing around and would go tell on people to the boss.

Another employee found a fart machine at a joke store.
It had a small remote control and a separate machine with a small speaker.
When you pushed the button the machine would make a farting sound.

He took the machine and taped it to the underside of the tattle tale guy's desk.
Later the guy was sitting at his desk doing some paperwork.
The guy with the remote was watching from across the room.
Whenever someone went to the guys desk to talk to him, the guy with the remote would push the button as they walked away.
Sometimes a few short repeated farts. Then the next person maybe a longer fart.
For each person the guy with the remote would make different combinations of short and long farts so everyone sounded different.

Neither the guy at the desk or the people walking away knew what was going on. Everyone thought the other person had farted.

Finally the guy at the desk couldn't take it any longer.
Red faced he went to the boss's office to tell him that everyone was farting at him.
The boss came back out with him to see what was going on.
As they were approaching his desk an attractive lady who was dressed professionally walked by the two of them.
Right then the guy with the remote did the "shave and a haircut tune" with farts.

The boss started cracking up laughing and just went back to his office.
The tattle tale guy quit a few days later.

The last real job I had must of had the largest bunch of screw off jokesters ever but lots of too serious people too so the clashing of these groups is what would get me going. The absolute funniest thing I've ever been involved with is the frequency interrupter caper.

Someone in my shop built this little device in electronics class that would allow you to overtake a radio station and broadcast instead of the signal. After we messed around with this thing for a few days I just had to mess with this old stick up his ass guy that worked in the next room over. There was a window in between us so my co-worker went into this guy's room and pretended to be messing around with some boxes while I was trying to get a hold of this guy's radio he had cranking away on a country station. My friend was nodding no...then yes...then no...then finally he smiles and starts laughing so I knew I had it. That's when God decided to visit ole Ray yeah it was so damn hilarious that I nearly had an aneurysm watching this guy smack the sh*t out of his radio and shake it over his head. :rofl2:

At a new job I happily would go to our Director to share good news and accomplishments, and always got chopped and left his office deflated. When there were problems and set-backs I also reported the situations to this Director and I was praised for past successes, he recognized the challenges we had and encouraged me to ask for added resources if I thought appropriate. :scratchhead:

When I found out the Director was an excellent poker player I decided to “standardize me” when meeting this Director. I turned the door knob and opened his door the same all the time, walked into his office with same bearing and pace and sat at the same chair with the same motion, greeted him the same – all the time. I now left his office not feeling jerked around. :spin chair:

Later at a staff meeting the Director talked about enjoying playing poker. He said his job gave him opportunities to try to read people. When staff came to see him he attempted to determine, before they were seated, whether the news was good or bad and generally what his response would be. He said he was usually right with most of the staff - but a few were very hard to read.

The young guy in our office was heavily into parachuting and base jumping. One morning he calls in and says he's in hospital with several injuries from a bad landing. Gonna spend a week or so at the hospital and then another couple at home before he's back.

So about a month later him and his sister (designated driver) comes in for a visit with a brace around his neck and back etc to find the outline of a body made in yellow/black caution tape on the floor in his office. Placed on the back was his laptop bag.

The guy laughed, but his sister did not find the joke funny.

A note, he did fully recover.

Another thing that happened every now and then was to tape a sensor soap dispenser under the desk. You could see people heading for the washroom with "liquid" running down their pants.

The piercer at the tattoos shop was being a smartass one day, so i took his car keys. I decided to have some fun, and drove his car a few houses down from the shop and parked it. He walked around the building a few times looking for it and finally called the police. He recovered his car and the police officer got a good laugh from it

Oh!!! We had a friend doing a guest artist spot at our shop for a week. He had just gotten into a big fight with his ex and spit in her face. He was in the middle of a tattoo when one of my state police buddies stopped in(on duty and dressed) to set up an appointment. I decided to get him back for an incident at my first tattoo convention. He announced that i had left my kneepads and false teeth in the mens bathroom. So...I had my police buddy go back and announce in front of the customer, that he was under arrest for assault. He started freaking out, told him that he had 45 minutes left with the tattoo, and would go when he was finished. So Todd(Officer) stood there waiting for a few minutes...Artist started really freakin. I let it go for about ten minutes and decided to go see what was going on...He starts crying and saying he can't go to jail. I finally said" Maybe the kneepads will help get you out of this" and started laughing...He caught on and started laughing. He had to take a 1/2 hour break to stop shaking

hmy:you guys are goood.

There were plenty of people around at work who were...kinda...fussy, to put it nicely (one guy I knew made sure all the paperclips in his drawer were always in perfect alignment.) It only took a few moments to go into their office and take every picture, cartoon, cerificate, you name it that was on their wall and just tweak them ever-so-slightly off straight.

And there was always running a string through the dropped ceiling with one end right over someone's desk and attaching a rubber spider to it. You wait until they're at their desk working, then, from a couple cubicles over, slowly lower the spider...