I got thrown in Jail - Funny or Embarrassing Stories

There are likely to be some of us who have at least one funny or embarrassing story about getting thrown in jail. At the time it can be tramatic, but looking back there is sure to be some entertainment value.
I have only been put in jail once in my life. It was semi embarrassing. I will wait until someone else who has a better story can post their story first to get this thread started off right.

If it makes you feel better you can always say it happened to a friend.
So, come on. Fess up and tell your story.

When I was 16 I dyed my hair bright purple. I had an insanely hot girlfriend that lived about an hour away. I drove to see her and back every day. Did I mention that she was a redhead?
Anyway, I got a speeding ticket late one night on the way home. 71 in a 55mph. I had to appear in court, not just pay a fine.
Showed up to court(not having told my parents anything) bright purple hair and all. You can imagine the judge's shock(this being in BFE) at my appearance.......... $200 fine plus $60 court fee. What I did not know was that I was expected to pay this in cash immediately.
To the holding cell immediately until someone could produce aforementioned $$$.
It was my girlfriends' mom. Hi mom, nice to meet you!
Being in jail at 16 with purple hair is no fun.
Being in jail is no fun.
My dad didn't find out until the insurance company raised the rates later on. 20 years later & he still won't let me live that one down.
I know somebody's got a much better story than this..................................

I haven't been in jail and I don't want to go to jail! I work security and I've had a hand in a few people getting arrested, though!

got printed once but no jail time for me
best part was they stripped me of my knives and the after printing i got to play with the sgt. lefty sebenza in te "office "
lesson learned and im a good boy now

I guess I gotta do it. lol

About 15 years ago, I was working at this little brasserie in Phoenix, AZ. One Friday night around 2 am The bar manager comes to me and says " can you do me a big favor?" I says "sure, what you need?"
" See, that girl at the bar? She is pretty drunk and needs a ride home. Can you drop her off?" " no problem" It didn't hurt that she was just about the prettiest thing I ever did see. She lived about 2 miles from my apartment, so it wasn't a big deal. I got her home and walked her to her door and she asked me if I wanted to come and have a night cap. I said " why not".
Three days later I wake up to someone kicking me in the head and screaming " wake up and get your ass out of my country!" I didn't know what was going on or where I was. I hurt all over and was covered in my own blood and filth. Turns out the man kicking me in the head was the police chief of Nogales, Mexico and he was none too happy with me stinking up his jail. He screamed again," you have five minutes to get out of here or you will never leave this place, now move!" I stagger out the door and realize that I have no wallet, no money, my keys are gone and my truck is missing. I'm getting light headed from the blows I took to the head, so I sit down on the rock in front of the station and every time the door opened, I knew I was a dead man. I couldn't focus enough on the problem at hand, I couldn't figure out how I was going to get back home. Somehow I ended up a couple hundred miles from where I started and I was desperate. Fate stepped in, about the time I was feeling the most despair, I heard this old familiar rumble come down the street and it was my baby and she pulled right up to the station and another policia got out and strutted passed me. I waited two minutes, slid under the truck and pulled out the spare keys, started it up and headed to the border. They gave chase, but I made it to the border and traffic blocked them in. The Americans pulled me out and detained me, thinking I had done something illegal, I told them my story and they were sympathetic, but said it was illegal for me to cross the border without proper identification. I asked that they keep me until they could get a hold of my family to establish that I was who I said I was and they agreed. While, I waited they tore my baby apart looking for drugs, They said parts of my truck was modified to carry contraband and other parts of my truck were beefed up for off road travel. My baby was a 1992 Dodge Ram 250 cummins turbo diesel 4x4 to begin with. the fact that they needed to beef it up was pretty damn surprising.
Anyway, I spent 2 more days in detention , before they got all the paperwork and affidavits they needed, they put my truck back together and sent me on my way. I drove all the way back to Phoenix, went to work and punched the bar manager in the face. I made them pay me the $1200 I had on me when this happened. THey apologized and when we went to the apartment it was empty. The cops said it is actually pretty common,girl becomes a regular and then plays the damsel in distress, you have the type of vehicle they need and they wait till payday, you drive them home, they invite you in and slip you a mickey. Someone shows up drives to the border with you as and insurance policy and dumps you out in the Mexico dessert or in my case at the corrupt Policia station.
All in all, I had $1200 bucks stolen, my truck stolen, I pissed myself among other things, three broken ribs, 4 dislocated fingers on each hand from somebody stomping on them, gash in my head, 2 black eyes, dislocated knee, smash swollen testicles also from someone kicking me repeatedly, bruised kidney and so many bruises I was unrecognizable for about 6 weeks. On the plus side, I got my truck back, super supped up, with new suspension, running boards, transmission, heating and cooling units, Five new tires, heavy duty rims, light bar, winch and towbar kit, cd player, secret compartments built in the bed and under the cab and a full tank of fuel. I also got to punch the bar manager in the mouth and got my money back and was taken care of by five of the prettiest waitress you ever laid your eyes on.

But what about that "nightcap"?

Hmmm, the most embarrassing time was when I was opening a Chi Chi's (yep, that's right, I was a corporate "opening goon".) and the first time I layed eyes on my new Regional Manager was when I was bent over my trunk getting patted down.

But those were the good ole pirate days.

Son, you should write a book.

wierd stuff just happens to me sometimes. I think I got the night cap I don't remember. Love to hear more of Salty's stories though. Think there are a few volumes there.lol

Your member name should be "Sachem T. Allison", 'cause your middle name is Trouble!

I find it hard to believe that everyone on this forum is an angel.

some of us just haven't gotten caught

I got caught...very very caught...in upstate NY. But with a little help I challenged the finding....went from speeding, stolen property and resisting arrest to not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign (LOL interstate 87...which doesn't have many stop signs). There was a little jail time involved, but ultimately not much cost.

I'll share. This is one of my lowest points, and caused me to be a shut in for a couple years just from the publicity. I had just gotten to college, and I think I went to about 3 parties that night. I was drinking pretty heavily, and the last drink I remember was a mix of gin and vodka, since they had ran out of juice. Next thing I know, I arrive at a party, and everyone is super excited b/c a stripper was about to start performing. She gets into the room, asks who the bachelor is, and everyone points to me. I don't remember too much of what I had to drink after that, but I think my reaction was like a deer caught in the headlights. After she left, and I'm stumbling, a bunch of the guys start talking about decorating for a jungle party they're going to throw the next week. I'm told they do this all the time, and tell me to jump in the truck to grab some supplies. We end up at a park, probably around 2am, and all of a sudden there are a bunch of drunk guys throwing their bodies into small trees, ripping them out of the ground, and then shoving them in the back of the trucks. Those are my 5-10 minutes of memory I have of that night, and the next weekend, the same guys come around to grab to to start decorating. I'm really not too sure of who everyone is, but hell why not. We get to the house, start stapling vines to the ceiling, and placing trees in all the corners. They also have a canoe that is filled with jungle punch set up for everyone to fill their drinks. Anyway, I'm going outside to grab some more vines, as the sheriff, county police, and university police officers are all walking up. The first words out of their mouths, "You're just the person we want to talk to." I kinda freak out, tell them, "No, I'm not, let me go grab someone for you." And run back inside. At this point, they just walk in after me, they've got the place surrounded, and they arrest us all. Find out later, when I'm on the news, that the park these guys took me to was a memorial park, and they were ripping up trees donated to loved ones who had passed away. The kind of moment when you realize that you'd have every right to get your ass kicked, and would deserve every bit of it. I sat there in jail, feeling like crap, and the only thing that makes me laugh is all the hardasses that thought they were gangsters asking what my bail was, and stepping back and giving me space when I told them 17k. Not my brightest moment for sure, and something that my parents will never let me live down. And though I've already written letters to anyone affected by what I did, just another "my deepest apologies."

sachem allison said:

I find it hard to believe that everyone on this forum is an angel.

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I've been to jail plenty of times......I don't recall any of them being "funny":angel2:

I've never been in jail but I was frisked once"....Ryan

Does a holding cell count as jail?

Anyhow, I did almost get court-martialed in the Army. It had something to do with me getting a letter published in the Stars and Stripes using the name of my First Sergeant. The letter was in support of a very controversial topic at the time (homosexuals in the military), and he wasn't the type to embrace this idea at all. I was getting back at him for something and it worked like a charm.

k.

The Edge said:

I sat there in jail, feeling like crap, and the only thing that makes me laugh is all the hardasses that thought they were gangsters asking what my bail was, and stepping back and giving me space when I told them 17k. Not my brightest moment for sure, and something that my parents will never let me live down.

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Mental note: if ever incarcerated, shock the judge by requesting if his honour might respectfully quadruple my bail amount so as to impress fellow inmates.

mr drinky said:

Does a holding cell count as jail? Anyhow, I did almost get court-martialed in the Army. It had something to do with me getting a letter published in the Stars and Stripes using the name of my First Sergeant. The letter was in support of a very controversial topic at the time (homosexuals in the military), and he wasn't the type to embrace this idea at all. I was getting back at him for something and it worked like a charm.

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Sounds like it was worth it!