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Tell a Joke to Enter Contest 2 Winners - 9/15 Drawing - Page 2
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Thread: Tell a Joke to Enter Contest 2 Winners - 9/15 Drawing

  1. #11

    knyfeknerd's Avatar
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    I guess it's rock maple, at least it looks a lot like it.

    What's brown and floats through walls?
    SPOOKY DOOKIE!!!

    yeah sorry, that's really the only PG rated joke I've got.
    If "Its" and "Buts" was candy and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas
    -Cleon "Slammin'" Salmon

  2. #12

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    Maple. this is old but still one of my favorites.


    A blind man enters a lady's bar by mistake. Finding his way to the bar, he orders a drink. After a few drinks he yells, "Does anybody want to hear a blonde joke?"

    The place gets silent. Then a woman with a deep, husky voice sitting to the right of the man says, "Sir, since you are blind, I think it is only fair to let you know that

    The bartender is a blonde woman.

    The bouncer is a blonde woman.

    The woman on your left is blonde and a professional wrestler.

    I'm a six foot tall blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

    The woman next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

    Do you still want to tell that joke?"

    "Well, **** no," says the man. "Not if I'm gonna have to explain it FIVE times."

  3. #13
    Weird Wood Pusher Burl Source's Avatar
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    Here is a riddle for a five year old.
    Q: why is six afraid of seven
    A: because seven eight nine
    Mark Farley / It's a Burl
    Phone 541-592-5071, Email burlsource@gmail.com
    Visit our web store

  4. #14
    orange tree burl?

    why was the computer geek disappointed at the zoo?

    he couldn’t find any ram
    one man gathers what another man spills...

  5. #15
    Das HandleMeister apicius9's Avatar
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    Well, if you give it away in hints, I'll say grapefruit.

    An old one: The phone rings at the bar owner's place at 11am and wakes the guy after a long night."What!?" "Oh, I just wanted to know when your bar opens." asks a guy who clearly already had a few drinks too many. "And you wake me up for that? - At 9pm!", hangs up. Around 2pm, the phone rings again. "Hey, when dss your llttle baar open?" - Same guy clearly wasted. "At 9pm, I told you before!" screams the bar owner and hangs up. Phone rings again at 5pm: "Heeelloo, whe - oops - wheen dss your nice lttle bar open?" - the guy can hardly speak anymore. "I told you, at 9pm, but as wasted as you are, there is no way I will let you in!" Says the bar owner. "Whadda you mean 'in' - want out!" says the guy...

    Stefan

  6. #16
    avocado tree burl?


    what's orange and sounds like a parrot?

    a carrot...
    one man gathers what another man spills...

  7. #17

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    Little johnny was in first grade and asked to do a show and tell. He forgot to bring anything with him, so he went up to the front of the class, grabbed the chalk, and put a dot on the board. The teacher asked him what it was, and why it was important. Little Johnny replied, its a period. Darned if I know why it is important, but it must be because when my sister told my parents she missed hers, my mom passed out and my dad had a heart attack.

  8. #18

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    What did the math book say to the pencil?



    "I have alot of problems".

  9. #19
    Senior Member
    sachem allison's Avatar
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    What two things in the air gets a blonde pregnant?........Her legs!.
    I haven't lived the life I wanted, just the lives I needed too at the time.

  10. #20
    Senior Member

    SpikeC's Avatar
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    Olive, of course!
    Spike C
    "The Buddha resides as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of a mountain."
    Pirsig

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