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Thread: Tell a Joke to Enter Contest 2 Winners - 9/15 Drawing

  1. #1
    Weird Wood Pusher Burl Source's Avatar
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    Tell a Joke to Enter Contest 2 Winners - 9/15 Drawing

    The prize for this contest is a block of Stabilized **** ***** Burl. There will be 2 winners.
    Since these are my only two pieces of this wood, it makes more sense to give them away than to sell them. If you don't use them for a knife handle they make a good paperweight, chewy toy (Spike) or ???? I'm just doing this for new jokes.



    Here is how the contest works.
    To make an entry into the contest just post a joke in this thread and guess what type of wood this is.
    Make a separate post for each Joke. The post number of your joke is your entry number.
    The more jokes you post the better your chance of winning.

    On the 15th I will use the random number generator to select the winning numbers.
    There will be 2 numbers selected. 1st number gets the bigger block.
    I will pay for the shipping to wherever the winners live.

    This is a contest where everyone wins.
    Even if you don't win a prize you still get to enjoy the jokes.
    Really good jokes and Really dumb ones have an equal chance of winning.
    Mark Farley / Burl Source
    Phone 541-287-1029, Email burlsource@gmail.com
    Visit our web store

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    SpikeC's Avatar
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    Are politically incorrect jokes allowed?
    Spike C
    "The Buddha resides as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of a mountain."
    Pirsig

  3. #3
    Weird Wood Pusher Burl Source's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpikeC View Post
    Are politically incorrect jokes allowed?
    They are encouraged as long as you don't make the mods mad at you.
    Mark Farley / Burl Source
    Phone 541-287-1029, Email burlsource@gmail.com
    Visit our web store

  4. #4
    Guy walks into a bar on the second floor of a building. Sits down at the bar, and orders a drink. Man next to him starts talking to him about the properties of drinking beer, and tells the guy if he drinks enough, the gas bubbles will make him weightless. Guy looks at him, almost laughs, and is like yeah right. The drunkard picks up on this, and says, "Oh yeah, I'll prove it to you!! Just buy me a drink, and I'll float right out that window!" Guy is like, "sure, bartender, get this man another beer." Thinking at least he'll get to see some idiot fall out of the window. Man gets the beer, chugs it in a matter of seconds, walks over to the window, and floats out... The guy's jaw drops, he can't help start jumping around screaming, "holy crap, did you just see that!" Other guy comes walking back up the stairs, and is quickly greeted by the other one with, "Do that again!! Bartender, get this man another beer!" Other man doesn't disappoint, downs the beer, and floats out the window again. As the night goes on, and the new guy keeps seeing this happen, he gets drunk enough he thinks he can do the trick himself. Orders a beer from the bar, downs it, goes over to the window, and falls to the ground in a THUD! Bartender just looks at the other guy, and says, "Superman, you can be such an ass when you're drunk!"

  5. #5
    Nice idea for a giveaway but, shoot, can't think of a good joke right now. Maybe later!

  6. #6
    Senior Member NO ChoP!'s Avatar
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    Rock maple...

    Why do the hipsters not excel in the martial arts?
    They cannot get passed the white belt.....
    The difference between try and triumph is a little "umph"! NO EXCUSES!!!!!!!
    chefchristophermiller@yahoo.com

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    SpikeC's Avatar
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    What is the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
    Spike C
    "The Buddha resides as comfortably in the circuits of a digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top of a mountain."
    Pirsig

  8. #8
    tiger maple burl?

    what did the digital clock say to it's mom?

    look ma, no hands
    once in a while you get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at it right

  9. #9
    Weird Wood Pusher Burl Source's Avatar
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    a hint on the wood.
    Many of the groves in California are being removed as the land is being developed.
    When you sand the wood it smells like the fruit from the tree.
    Mark Farley / Burl Source
    Phone 541-287-1029, Email burlsource@gmail.com
    Visit our web store

  10. #10
    Weird Wood Pusher Burl Source's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SpikeC View Post
    What is the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
    I don't know, what?
    Mark Farley / Burl Source
    Phone 541-287-1029, Email burlsource@gmail.com
    Visit our web store

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