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I do soft through firm tofu in carbon steel all the time. I don't know what else I would use... I'm not exactly sure what problem you're having, but I'll describe my process. Maybe it will help?
I never do it in a dirty pan. I wash the pan out first if I need to. I then use pretty high heat, high enough to pass the mercury test on a stainless steel pan. My carbon steel pan sometimes smokes before it gets hot enough. I pour in a generous (not too deep, just enough to coat and a little more) oil into the pan and lay the tofu down. Flip as desired. If you are adverse to oil, you technically don't need it but the tofu won't be beautifully golden. It will be have brown splots. Still good, but not as delicious. I tend to use less oil than truly necessary for health reasons.
That sounded easy right? Well, I don't find that to be the entire story. Tofu, especially softer tofus, tend to break up if you are too rough with them. So, flipping many times is a challenge. You could use a firmer tofu, but I love the contrast between crispy exterior and silky interior. My recommendation is to cut large cubes (1 in) or cut thin rectangles. My favorite is thin rectangles and then only fry the two large faces. Its not as delicious as perfectly seared cubes, but it is like 2/6th the time (6 faces, 6 flips per cube is a pain in the a**). I've flipped either with a fish spatula (many at a time) or one by one with tongs or chopsticks. Both work. Chopsticks work better for cubes and a fish spatula works better for the rectangles.
My problems with tofu dishes this way is that I want the sauce I make with the tofu to stick to the tofu but I hate cornstarch and the sauce makes the crust soggy. I haven't found a way around these problems yet. If I cook the tofu in the sauce, the tofu becomes soft and you lose some of that crunch. I end up frying the tofu, making the sauce, pouring the sauce into a plate and gently laying the tofu crispy side up and out of the liquid. It's not ideal though.
Its possible to do tofu in a stainless steel pan, but its hard to get the tofu to release without either a lot of oil or burning the tofu.
EDIT: I should note that I do all my tofu in a matfer fry pan. Maybe a very large round bottom wok would work, but I've never tried. Tofu is too tender for me to use my wok burner.
I did indeed do all of that and the Tofu just clung to the pan like heck...
When using Tofu with a sauce I add it once the Tofu is fried, all sauces make for a soggy crust so timing is of the essence yet I usually look for another ingredient to add crunch.