Frustrated with wife’s knife preferences

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microtech

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So I have this other human in the house with me. Lets just call her my wife. She cooks every other day because we and our son prefers homemade food more than eating out. It makes me sad to see her use what she does for years without any complaints. With how much she preps and cooks, I want her to have a better experience.

(First pic is what she uses, 2nd pic is what I bought her)
20240926_190507.jpg 20240927_110931.jpg

Some way and somehow, she’s able to make amazing food, just using a $3 *I typed a word here that I shouldn't have typed* Kiwi knife and a no-name serrated petty. The Kiwi knife is so cheap and thin that it can still “cut” when completely blunt (6yrs never sharpened). All prep is done on a micro-size bamboo cutting board.

I bought her 2 end-grain custom boards and 2 knives: TF Denka 210mm gyuto and Watanabe 165mm nakiri.

We’ve had both knives and cutting board for 2+ years. TF Denka was used once, and Wat was used 3 times. Her reasoning: Knives TOO sharp it scares her, cutting board TOO heavy.

I want the best for her. I really do. But it really bothers me that she has access to much better kitchenware but still reaches for The Junk. This is the equivalent of going to a fancy omakase dinner experience but you’d rather have instant ramen instead. Ok rant over.


Solution 1: Commit knife-treason by purposely filing down the edge on both, and break the tip off the Denka.

Solution 2: I cook more and enjoy the knives/boards myself. Leave her be.

Solution 3: Sell everything, cry, then disappear from KKF.


Anyone have similar experiences? And if so, how’d you overcome this hurdle with your spouse?
 
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This is an argument you will never win. If she like what she likes, you won't be able to change that - in a fast timeline at least. Old habits are hard to change

You need to approach it with something intermediate. Something nice, but not as razor edge. Something she can step upto and feel comfortable with.

Get a small good board. Get a knife that she might consider high end (but would be low end by KKF standards). Shigeki Tanaka used to have some great half tang westerns that would likely fit into this.

And then let her do her thing. If she cooks you a great meal, don't stress over it. Lots of great restaurant meals are cooked with crap knives. It is what it is.
 
I second the advice to accommodate her preferences.

my wife's favorite knives are victorinox serrated steak knives. We have six of them in a small block on the counter; she uses all of them throughout the day and they go in the dishwasher.

for bigger stuff, she uses a Tojiro DP santoku, which I gave her after I gave up trying to keep an edge on her previous chopper, a pink kai santoku. I think she still misses the pink knife.
 
Funny, I think most of us have the opposite problem... my wife LOVES to use my Yoshikane SKD Petty but thankfully she finally started to rinse and wipe it after using it.

Btw, I think it's really nice of you to try to upgrade your wife's cooking experience, but she's clearly happy with what she has, so I'd let it be.
 
Solution 4: stop caring and enjoy the good meal.

I had to do this myself.

#moreknives4me
This.

There’s no point in buying a Porsche (not counting those dreadful SUVs) for someone who’d rather chug around in an old two-pedal Isuzu Trooper.

Also, there is a sort of failure to truly recognize the other built into such an “improvement campaign.” Something I figured out in the long quiet stretches after the divorce.
 
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My wife used to sell Cutco and we inherited her knives. Now, she uses uses a Newham gyuto and Eddworks nakiri and is hooked...she's even looking forward to her upcoming custom and now complains when cooking at other people's houses when their knives are dull.

It all happened by just letting, and encouraging, her to use "my" knives.
 
Buy a stainless nakiri, such as

https://hitohira-japan.com/products/aaa-268-09-lb165?_pos=14&_sid=e99568233&_ss=r

Let her keep using the bamboo cutting board, sadly or not, easy for her to lift and clean etc.

Sharpen the nakiri not as acute as most here like it, make sure it has a little bit of cutting resistance but not as much as the kiwi

Been in this situation too

I have some super sharp knives, super thin etc, amazing steel, low edge angle, but I use stainless or carbon stamped knives the most
 
Jumping from Kiwi to Denka is like switching from Oldsmobile to a Corvette. Will end up in a ditch lol. Gradual transitioning to a Masutani or something similar vg-10 like others have said would’ve been better. Unfortunately, I think there is no solution to this. You will never win this battle with her.🥲 Time to find another wife!
 
My wife does 90% of her cooking using a 150mm akifusa pm petty knife on a tiny bamboo cutting board. She used to use a ten dollar ikea knife.

I tried to get her to use a yoshikane petty but it rusted all the time. Then we tried a semi-stainless Heiji and it too rusted all the time (knife care is not something she's interested in). Now the akifusa seems to be the winner, but I really hate sharpening it. We also currently have one of the ubiquitous Aus8 stamped santoku that you can get anywhere. It's occasionally used, but she prefers smaller and lighter knives.

I echo the other's sentiments of accommodating her preferences rather than trying to tell her what's good for her. I'm still looking for the right knives for our home since I inevitably end up using whatever is at hand. It's hard to find something that accommodates both our tastes though. I think I'll eventually end up snagging the Tsunehisa ginsan santoku next time I have a little cash to burn. Now I just need to find a stainless petty that I don't hate sharpening.

She also has the "cutting board is too heavy" complaint. If anybody has a good, lightweight, smaller size cutting board recommendation, please let me know!
 
GF had crap that would embarres Wallymart when we met. Crap knives, favorite was and still is a serrated steak knife. Cutting plastic thingy is worse. Tried a few smalls to no avail. She will use a Kyocera santoku I had somewhere but doesn't like it.

I overlook it all for peace in the valley. And do 90% of the cooking / cleanup.
 
My wife does 90% of her cooking using a 150mm akifusa pm petty knife on a tiny bamboo cutting board. She used to use a ten dollar ikea knife.

I tried to get her to use a yoshikane petty but it rusted all the time. Then we tried a semi-stainless Heiji and it too rusted all the time (knife care is not something she's interested in). Now the akifusa seems to be the winner, but I really hate sharpening it. We also currently have one of the ubiquitous Aus8 stamped santoku that you can get anywhere. It's occasionally used, but she prefers smaller and lighter knives.

I echo the other's sentiments of accommodating her preferences rather than trying to tell her what's good for her. I'm still looking for the right knives for our home since I inevitably end up using whatever is at hand. It's hard to find something that accommodates both our tastes though. I think I'll eventually end up snagging the Tsunehisa ginsan santoku next time I have a little cash to burn. Now I just need to find a stainless petty that I don't hate sharpening.

She also has the "cutting board is too heavy" complaint. If anybody has a good, lightweight, smaller size cutting board recommendation, please let me know!

My wife really likes this one in 150mm:

https://japanesechefsknife.com/coll...etsugu-pro-m-series-petty-120mm-150mm-2-sizes

Sold out at JCK but they're pretty prolific out there.

AUS-8 so stainless and tough enough that she doesn't feel like she has to baby it but thin enough for good performance and super simple to sharpen.

It's pretty handy really. Heel height is too short for me for anything other than something quick but not bad for silver skin and such.
 
My wife really likes this one in 150mm:

https://japanesechefsknife.com/coll...etsugu-pro-m-series-petty-120mm-150mm-2-sizes

Sold out at JCK but they're pretty prolific out there.

AUS-8 so stainless and tough enough that she doesn't feel like she has to baby it but thin enough for good performance and super simple to sharpen.

It's pretty handy really. Heel height is too short for me for anything other than something quick but not bad for silver skin and such.
There’s still the stainless handle one, even better if she put them in dishwasher lol
https://japanesechefsknife.com/coll...etsugu-pro-s-series-petty-120mm-150mm-2-sizes
 
My wife had CutCo knives when we started dating. I bought her a 180 VG10 Santoku about twenty years ago which is still her favorite knife. After that we got rid of all the CutCo stuff except the veggie peeler, which I actually really like.

She also has a Henry Hyde that she bought from Henry a few years ago at East Coast Gathering. And she asked me for a good paring knife and petty because she was tired of the cheap little Wusthof ones I had always used. So I commissioned Harbeer to make her a paring and petty in Cruwear.
 
hahahha thats the difference between man and woman. man cares for the experience whereas a woman cares for the result.

p.s i gave up trying to improve my SO cooking experience
 
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