Funny to Us (not them) | Comments Your Partner Makes about Your "Hobby"

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In an earlier post I mentioned how my wife makes fun of the steel names of my knives (she thinks all the random numbers are ridiculous and I can’t disagree). It’s become a bit of a running joke and I happened to catch some of it here.

Her: What’s the tool of the day?
Me: Nakiri
Her: Nakiri 7000?
Me: SF100 actually (it’s an English AEB-L equivalent)
both: lolz


 
So, this is less of my wife being critical of my hobby and more of how knives and sharpening played a role in my relationship with my wife.

When I asked my now mother in law for my wife’s hand in marriage, she told me that she could tell me the exact day that her daughter decided I was “the one”. About a month into dating, my future wife accidentally left her pocket knife at my place. I decided as my gift to her I would disassemble and clean her knife along with giving it a fresh edge on my new whetstone.

When she came over the following weekend I gave her knife back. She didn‘t say much about it at the time but we had a wonderful date night with a picnic and a movie. Apparently when she went home that night and told my mother in law and late father in law that she had met the man she would eventually marry. When asked what prompted this decision, she recounted what I had done with her pocket knife and showed it off with joy in her eyes and heart to her parents.

5 years later we got married. Though her father passed away from cancer two years prior, our tribute to him was a laguiole pocket knife that she had purchased for him while she studied in France. A knife that he saved to carry with him on special occasions.
 
Recently there was a story about kitchen safety and they, of course, mentioned that a sharp knife is safer than a dull knife.
This is only sort of true. A really dull knife is more dangerous than a sharp one. But an ultra-sharp knife is also more dangerous than a "normally sharp" one. That's because, with an ultra-sharp knife, even a tiny fleeting contact will leave a deep gash, whereas with a merely sharp one, the injury will probably not be as serious.
 
A tale of a Wife trying to understand her husband and his knife friends...

My wife, choosing a knife: "Baby why did you rearrange the knife strip?"

20230227_123711.jpg


Me: "My knife nerd friends and I are doing something called ARM, All Rectangle March. We only use rectangular knifes for the month of march. So I needed to make them all accessible"

Wife: "Oh that sounds pretty fun...
(She Pauses for 3 beats)

So tell me how it works with your knife people... (she sometimes calls us the 'knife gang')

Did they decide to do this collectively, or did the tribal council meet and pass down a decree?"
 
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Wife: “I wish you would look at me the way you look at your knives”

Me: “But you already satisfied my sexual fantasy just last week”

Wife: “???”

Me: “Remember when that callus on your little toe was bothering you and you wanted me to do something about it?”

Wife: “yeah?”

Me: “Shapton Glass 220, baby”
 
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A tale of a Wife trying to understand her husband and his knife friends...

My wife, choosing a knife : "Baby why did you rearrange the knife strip?"

View attachment 231916

Me: "My knife nerd friends and I are doing something called ARM, All Rectangle March. We only use rectangular knifes for the month of march. So I needed to make them all accessible"

Wife: "Oh that sounds pretty fun...
(She Pauses for 3 beats)

So tell me how it works with your knife people (she sometimes calls us the 'knife gang')...

Did they decide to do this collectively, or did the tribal council meet and pass down a decree?"
"The latter"
 
This is only sort of true. A really dull knife is more dangerous than a sharp one. But an ultra-sharp knife is also more dangerous than a "normally sharp" one. That's because, with an ultra-sharp knife, even a tiny fleeting contact will leave a deep gash, whereas with a merely sharp one, the injury will probably not be as serious.
My wife turns on the tv in the kitchen first thing in the morning to watch the Today show. Recently there was a story about kitchen safety and they, of course, mentioned that a sharp knife is safer than a dull knife. My wife immediately sez "You must have the safest knives around."

I feel like we can be too militant about “sharp knives are safer” here, because it justifies our lifestyle. I think it’s only true if you have reasonably good knife skills. Like, would you rather give a dull knife or a screaming sharp knife to your 4 yr old? When the user isn’t coordinated enough, they may cut themselves, and if they do cut themselves it might be worse with a sharp knife. My dad apparently cut his finger pretty badly with a knife I’d recently sharpened while visiting there…
 
I feel like we can be too militant about “sharp knives are safer” here, because it justifies our lifestyle. I think it’s only true if you have reasonably good knife skills. Like, would you rather give a dull knife or a screaming sharp knife to your 4 yr old? When the user isn’t coordinated enough, they may cut themselves, and if they do cut themselves it might be worse with a sharp knife. My dad apparently cut his finger pretty badly with a knife I’d recently sharpened while visiting there…
Judging by the number of family members that have cut themselves since I started sharpening their knives, I’ll venture to say that sharp knives are definitely more likely to be dangerous.
 
People cut themselves with sharp knives at the start because most people have horrible knife habbits. I once had a bunch of people over at my house to prep for a huge dinner for our sports clubs after I had sharpened my knives fairly recently. I had to put bandaids on 5 different people that evening...

But none of it was massive wounds. When you have sharp knives you might get knicked, but because the wounds are clean and straight they heal easily, and they tend not to be very deep because you use far less force. That's the issue with really blunt knives; people start using a lot more force and when things go wrong, they tend to go wrong a lot worse.
 
On that note the discussion at work last week was “so if we need more logical structure, why can’t we just get the end-users to install VS Code so they can write documents in Markdown instead of Word?”
 
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On that note the discussion at work last week was “so if we need more logical structure, why can’t we just get the end-users to install VS Code so they can write documents in Markdown instead of Word?”
So did you sharpen your cleavers and use them to hack the computers?
 
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