How are you coping? What are you doing

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Depression has it's grip on both of us. Hell, we're not even drinking anymore since last summer..

@podzap, thank you for having the courage to speak openly. After the sh!tshow of 2020, many people are grieving, recovering, unemployed, isolated and cooped up. Anxiety and depression is high.

Probably the best advice anybody could give you is to speak to your GP and get a referral to a mental health professional. You could likely book an appointment with your wife as a couple. Many practises have shifted to tele-health models, if travel/distancing is a concern for you.

I recognise we don't all have the means or time to seek professional help. If you cant... old advice can be good advice. Get the heart pumping and put your body's pharmacy to work. Exercise will keep you occupied, tire you out and get the endorphins pumping!! Maybe try a new activity with your wife? You could ironically play pandemic together (I hear it is cooperative and fun). Volunteer and charity work can also be a good way of staying busy, socialising and adding meaning to your routine.

I am glad to hear you aren't drinking. Count that as a good thing! It is a depressant. If you are not in a good mental space it is unlikely to be helpful and could well be counter-productive.

Keep talking :) the right people will know how to help you :)
 
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Exercise helps I like to walk at night when others are inside.

Sounds corny watching shows that make you laugh instead depressing stuff. That's what sells with news shows steady diet of that doesn't help mental state.

You can search online ways to combat the blues. Sure good advice. Hang in there brother.
 
@podzap, thank you for having the courage to speak openly. After the sh!tshow of 2020, many people are grieving, recovering, unemployed, isolated and cooped up. Anxiety and depression is high.

Probably the best advice anybody could give you is to speak to your GP and get a referral to a mental health professional. You could likely book an appointment with your wife as a couple. Many practises have shifted to tele-health models, if travel/distancing is a concern for you.

I recognise we don't all have the means or time to seek professional help. If you cant... old advice can be good advice. Get the heart pumping and put your body's pharmacy to work. Exercise will keep you occupied, tire you out and get the endorphins pumping!! Maybe try a new activity with your wife? You could ironically play pandemic together (I hear it is cooperative and fun). Volunteer and charity work can also be a good way of staying busy, socialising and adding meaning to your routine.

I am glad to hear you aren't drinking. Count that as a good thing! It is a depressant. If you are not in a good mental space it is unlikely to be helpful and could well be counter-productive.

Keep talking :) the right people will know how to help you :)


Thanks. I live in a country where mental health problems are not stigmatised like they are in the anglosphere. Every person I know is in therapy now. Coworkers, family, friends, wife and I, kids, you name it. We're all ****ed up, even those who won't admit it.

We do go out with the dogs several times per day, not like we are immobile or anything. Work keeps both of us really busy, even as remote workers for 1 year now.

I was just pointing out that, maybe the worst of all, I've lost my "cooking and eating partner" because she's too depressed to eat much anymore. We've gone from cooking gourmet dinners to baking frozen chicken wings.
 
Thanks. I live in a country where mental health problems are not stigmatised like they are in the anglosphere.

No problem! You got that right... the anglosphere could learn a thing or too from the Nordic countries!

We're all ****ed up, even those who won't admit it.

🙂 The older I get the more I realise; there is no such thing as 'normal'... just varying degrees of ****ed up ;)


Broadly speaking... it sounds like you are in good hands and doing the right things.


I was just pointing out that, maybe the worst of all, I've lost my "cooking and eating partner" because she's too depressed to eat much anymore. We've gone from cooking gourmet dinners to baking frozen chicken wings.

I am sorry to hear that 😕. How can KKF help? Can we set you on a food cooking challenge 😈 to re-spark the spirit ?

Chicken dinners simply wont do!!
 
I am sorry to hear that 😕. How can KKF help? Can we set you on a food cooking challenge 😈 to re-spark the spirit ?

Chicken dinners simply wont do!!

No, this is not something that can be helped / assisted / solved - she will either find the desire from within to eat more than a few morsels per day or she won't. It's not within my power to control. We're both overweight so it's not like either one of us doesn't have plenty of fat to burn for energy.
 
No, this is not something that can be helped / assisted / solved - she will either find the desire from within to eat more than a few morsels per day or she won't. It's not within my power to control.
You are not going to control it, spot on.

I married my wife in 1984, when I was twenty-four years old. Before the wedding, we looked over all the marriage vows that were on offer. "Until death us depart…", "for richer, for poorer…", "in sickness and in health…", and so on.

The overwhelming sense I had at the time was that I was being asked to promise something hat wasn't reasonable. There I was, all of twenty-four years old, being asked to commit to something that would bind me for decades. I was acutely aware that I might not be able to deliver on that promise.

I went to that marriage celebrant one afternoon after my last lecture at uni. I rode my motorbike there to meet with my wife to be. (She was doing a full-time job and came straight from work, too.) I asked the marriage celebrant whether I could use her bathroom to change. And I changed into a shirt and jacket I had borrowed from a mate, because I was too poor to own a real shirt or a presentable jacket at the time.

And then we stood in front of that marriage celebrant. And I remember holding my wife's hand and looking at her as the celebrant started speaking. My mind said "I know those words. I know them by heart. I don't know that I can deliver on this stupidly large promise. But, bloody hell, I'm going to give it the best shot I've got."

We are still married. And some of the intervening years were seriously tough. But I wasn't going to renege on my promise.

@podzap : They make up those promises for a reason. If you can't wake up your wife, or make her feel better, or fix things, just be there for her. Be around. Be kind, patient, and supportive. Now is the time. The most significant of times.

Just be together and for each other. It does matter.
 
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My heart goes out to those of ;you in lock down situations. Here in N Florida, things have been fairly normal for the last 10 months. After the initial scare, our Governor opened things back up, and with respect for others, we have been able to do whatever we want. Now lets be clear, I do not frequent bars or large gatherings anyway, but restaurants are open and have been at half capacity for many months. People are considerate in stores and crowded public places, but most of us do not wear masks in our daily lives.
The govt has no right to dictate submissive rules without legislation. Given the chance, most are polite to others without govt input.
My wife and I , both in our late 60's refuse to live in fear projected by the media and the govt. It is our right to live as we choose. God Bless America. God Bless the members of this forum.
Peace
 
Sad to hear that.. Depression has it's grip here as well. I do cook for my jobless adult son. And i cook good stuff just no motivation to post. Maybe you can cook her favorite and post the pics here? Or cook a classic Finnish dish that we (meaning I) can learn/cook.

Terrific idea!

I know nothing about Finnish food, frankly. If you could cook something - or post one of your recipes - with ingredients obtainable outside of Finnland (Reindeer is particularly difficult to source here in Australia) - that'd be great!
 
One of my favorite Hawaiian dishes is Kalua pork & cabbage. Chop up cabbage, pound of Kalua pork, garlic salt, fresh ground pepper, smash large piece fresh ginger, trader joe's 21 spice, dash worcestershire sauce, 🍋 citrus Ponzu. Put glass lid on let it slow cook med low heat.

I think Fins like cabbage too. Never had Raindeer but eat a lot of fish, crab, oysters, shrimp. Those glacial melt countries eat fish like Salmon. Cold water fish.
 
Terrific idea!

I know nothing about Finnish food, frankly. If you could cook something - or post one of your recipes - with ingredients obtainable outside of Finnland (Reindeer is particularly difficult to source here in Australia) - that'd be great!

People eat McDonalds, pizza, kebabs and Nepalese. There is no real food culture anymore. Yeah, salmon is eaten quite a lot. Normally we just fry salmon butterflied medallions in oil with some lime-pepper seasoning.
 
I think Fins like cabbage too. Never had Raindeer but eat a lot of fish, crab, oysters, shrimp. Those glacial melt countries eat fish like Salmon. Cold water fish.

Millenials don't eat real food anymore, only nepalese delivery and microwave dinners. Reindeer are raised in northern Finland and most of it is either sold to Russia or served in tourist-trap restaurants. Reason being that the kilo price is so stupidly high that people would rather spend that kind of money on champagne and caviar.

Cole slaw has picked up as a fad food in recent years, so that's where cabbage goes nowadays.
 
You are not going to control it, spot on.

I married my wife in 1984, when I was twenty-four years old. Before the wedding, we looked over all the marriage vows that were on offer. "Until death us depart…", "for richer, for poorer…", "in sickness and in health…", and so on.

The overwhelming sense I had at the time was that I was being asked to promise something hat wasn't reasonable. There I was, all of twenty-four years old, being asked to commit to something that would bind me for decades. I was acutely aware that I might not be able to deliver on that promise.

I went to that marriage celebrant one afternoon after my last lecture at uni. I rode my motorbike there to meet with my wife to be. (She was doing a full-time job and came straight from work, too.) I asked the marriage celebrant whether I could use her bathroom to change. And I changed into a shirt and jacket I had borrowed from a mate, because I was too poor to own a real shirt or a presentable jacket at the time.

And then we stood in front of that marriage celebrant. And I remember holding my wife's hand and looking at her as the celebrant started speaking. My mind said "I know those words. I know them by heart. I don't know that I can deliver on this stupidly large promise. But, bloody hell, I'm going to give it the best shot I've got."

We are still married. And some of the intervening years were seriously tough. But I wasn't going to renege on my promise.

@podzap : They make up those promises for a reason. If you can't wake up your wife, or make her feel better, or fix things, just be there for here. Be around. Be kind, patient, and supportive. Now is the time. The most significant of times.

Just be together and for each other. It does matter.

Probably the most beautiful and poignant post I have read on KKF
🙏
 
Personally I can eat salmon seared in a skillet with olive oil.

My better half likes all the tasty sauces I can make for it.

I haven't been in a MacDonald's over 30 years cars still line up to eat that crap. They don't even make a decent hamburger
 
Personally I can eat salmon seared in a skillet with olive oil.

My better half likes all the tasty sauces I can make for it.

I haven't been in a MacDonald's over 30 years cars still line up to eat that crap. They don't even make a decent hamburger

I usually fry salmon in canola oil as it has such a high smoke point and I like to fry it on full-blast so the outsides are almost burned. Olive oil won't work in that case. Sometimes we do make a sauce with sour cream and chopped coriander (cilantro for US types).

Wife has got some additional help now and it seems that she might actually start eating a bit more. She even made me a sandwich for dinner! It was pretty good, made with artisan-type bread "oat-flaxseed", butter, salad, cucumbers, cheese and air-dryed ham slices. Do US types make sandwiches with butter, or is it only mustard or mayonnaise? In Finland, almost all sandwiches are made with butter or margarine. Rarely mayonnaise or mustard.
 
I am glad to hear you aren't drinking.
Sice @podzap is in Finland, I would consider not drinking a major red flag :p

Only kidding of course - all the best to @podzap and the family. I hope you will all feel better and that you will get out the Weber kettle and treat your wife to something delicious if she regains her appetite!

All the best.
 
Yeh mustard & mayo. We eat more healthy in our 70's. Sometimes hummus on bread. Good German mustard.

I use butter in couple of my sauces for Salmon.
We both love Salmon eat it at least every week sometimes twice a week.

Using a lite olive oil can get a crisp brown on outside of fish but not a deep char. We eat other fish too, fresh caught local from Chinatown. Sometimes steam fresh snapper chinese style.
 
Yeh mustard & mayo. We eat more healthy in our 70's. Sometimes hummus on bread. Good German mustard.

I use butter in couple of my sauces for Salmon.
We both love Salmon eat it at least every week sometimes twice a week.

Using a lite olive oil can get a crisp brown on outside of fish but not a deep char. We eat other fish too, fresh caught local from Chinatown. Sometimes steam fresh snapper chinese style.
Don't tell anyone but i sometimes add wasabi to the mayo and have yuzu kosho with salmon
 
I haven't been in a MacDonald's over 30 years cars still line up to eat that crap. They don't even make a decent hamburger

A guy who used to write a webcomic called Basic Instructions, and who has now abandoned his fans to write novels, had some good quotes about this. From memory:

"A Big Mac is not a good hamburger, but it is an excellent Big Mac."

"French chefs may be great, but I have yet to see one who could make a decent Oreo."
 
Don't tell anyone but i sometimes add wasabi to the mayo and have yuzu kosho with salmon

Thanks Bill I would buy the pure yuzu juice at Japanese store here. Like citrus in cooking. These days just buy small bags of lemons & limes. Like Miso a lot. Sure you could do many things with fermented yuzu rind. I'm sure they have yuzu kosho there. Don't read Japanese so don't know what much of stuff is in that store.
 
I'd just like everyone to continue to stay safe even though places are opening up. We've been so, so careful, then back in late September the clutch on my car went out. One of those things that you have to get fixed--the car couldn't be driven. We'd been doing grocery pickups in the parking lot, strictly staying at home, etc, and when I called the mechanic they said they were folloing all the safety practices--which they absolutely were not. I got exposed to something and a week later something (we really believe it was COVID) took me out. It wasn't like any illness I've ever had. I dropped almost 40 lbs in 5 weeks, couldn't keep anything down, coughed, had a fever, had my oxygen levels drop and my pulse skyrocketed. By the time I ended up in the ER, my lungs were collapsing, I had sepsis and diabetic ketoacidosis and bloodwork showed I had blood clots. Ended up spending 6 days in the ICU. It cost more than I paid for my first house (thank goodness for insurance.) Even though things seem to be looking up with the vaccines and cases dropping, stay careful so you can use that money on knives rather than doctor bills!
 
Wow sorry to hear that Lucretia hope you recover. We use masks whenever we go out. Have clean masks & disanfectant in car at all times after touching stuff at store wipe the steering wheel & stick shift. Mask keeps me from touching face. We are older so far lucky.
 
I am so sorry to hear that. And I am really, really sorry you got exposed after being careful. That sounds like an awful experience. I am glad you pulled through and I hope you recover in full!!
 
I'm glad to hear that you pulled through!

Covid is a minor illness for most people, and a life-threatening one for a minority. The recent opening up in places such as Texas was surprising to me, given the health advice from the CDC. While the US is making awesome progress towards getting everyone vaccinated, right now, herd immunity is nowhere near in sight.

It pays to be (really) careful.
 
Meanwhile at McDonalds

cope.jpg
 
Thanks for the kind words, folks. This virus isn't something to mess around with, Yes, in most cases it doesn't do a lot. But if you're unlucky, it can really mess you up. I've gone from controlling diabetes with diet and exercise to being an insulin junkie with a $600/month habit. COVID seems to be triggering/worsening diabetes for a lot of people. My vision is totally screwed up--I printed out an eye chart and can't even read the top line of letters at 20 feet. Still a lot of other issues that I have to work on every day. If you can take small actions such as wearing a mask and social distancing to protect yourself and others and avoid going through this, please do so! A little temporary inconvenience is not worth the possible long term effects.
 
Thanks for the kind words, folks. This virus isn't something to mess around with, Yes, in most cases it doesn't do a lot. But if you're unlucky, it can really mess you up. I've gone from controlling diabetes with diet and exercise to being an insulin junkie with a $600/month habit. COVID seems to be triggering/worsening diabetes for a lot of people. My vision is totally screwed up--I printed out an eye chart and can't even read the top line of letters at 20 feet. Still a lot of other issues that I have to work on every day.

I do hope you can make a full recovery. I am sure you will in time - it is horrible you are facing a more difficult road to 'normal'.

It has been sad to read reports on people who have 'recovered' but still have ongoing issues. Unfortunately it is not just a respiratory disease, it has inflammatory and vascular effects as well. There are quite a lot of people who have survived but been knocked back into poorer health. I don't think people with cavalier attitudes recognise this.

If you can take small actions such as wearing a mask and social distancing to protect yourself and others and avoid going through this, please do so! A little temporary inconvenience is not worth the possible long term effects.

Hear! Hear!

And I'll reinforce the point: by my view, a good citizen should do these things to protect their community. It does not stop at personal protection. We wear masks, social distance and wash our hands so others don't pay the price for our company.
 
Wishing great health, the soonest recovery for everyone dealing with the corona now, let's all try to stay sane and optimistic, there are still many things to be happy about everyday :cheers: :love:
 
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