If getting attacked in the kitchen??

Discussion in 'The Off Topic Room' started by Gjackson98, Mar 5, 2019.

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  1. Mar 6, 2019 #31

    Michi

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    Pull out one or two of your Wiltshire Staysharp knives. The enemy will flee immediately:

    "Oh no, please! Don't cut me with that!"
     
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  2. Mar 6, 2019 #32

    GorillaGrunt

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    Lol as soon as I saw this my first thought was damn, too bad I sold the 360 dragon. Also I’ve seen those T-I machetes, pretty cool just on principle. But I’d go with a blazing hot grill grate in one hand and the biggest house knife in the other, dirk and buckler style: I’m not chipping up a good j-knife on alien/bear bones!
     
  3. Mar 6, 2019 #33

    Benuser

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    In Europe we do things a bit differently. An apprentice in the kitchen had to defend himself against a colleague, used a chef's, and broke it. A smart guy made a kind of Honesuki of it — not obvious, as it happened in Paris around 1900. The knife is still there.
    I got it from @sachem allison

    [​IMG]
     
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  4. Mar 6, 2019 #34

    podzap

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  5. Mar 6, 2019 #35

    esoo

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    if we're talking aliens, that's likely just feeding them.
     
  6. Mar 6, 2019 #36

    Gjackson98

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    you guys are bad lol
     
  7. Mar 6, 2019 #37

    Uncle Mike

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    Pot of boiling water FTW!
     
  8. Mar 6, 2019 #38

    Bert2368

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    There are both a Mosin Nagant and an SKS with (permanently attached, folding) bayonets in the same room as my stove here. Do these count?
     
  9. Mar 6, 2019 #39

    Gjackson98

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    That makes me wonder what you cooking :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
     
  10. Mar 6, 2019 #40

    Bert2368

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    Last edited: Mar 7, 2019
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  11. Mar 6, 2019 #41

    Tim Rowland

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    I'm going with my re-handled CCK big rhino. cleaver.png
     
  12. Mar 6, 2019 #42

    Dhoff

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    What in the blazes are you using that monster for?
     
  13. Mar 6, 2019 #43

    Tim Rowland

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    .......................waiting for aliens to attack my kitchen. :D

    I used to use it for hacking chickens in half for roasting but its more of a novelty. I re-handled it a while ago and now it just sits down in my shop on the wall to look intimidating.
     
  14. Mar 6, 2019 #44

    podzap

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    Oh no, you didn't! Had me about to roll out of bed laughing so hard!
     
  15. Mar 7, 2019 #45

    Chef Doom

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    Cleaver combined with a large cast iron skillet for defense.
     
  16. Mar 7, 2019 #46

    Chef Doom

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    Now that is quick thinking. Unless it is a zombie.
     
  17. Mar 7, 2019 #47

    Chef Doom

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    You keep a machete in your kitchen?
     
  18. Mar 7, 2019 #48

    ian

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    I’d hold them in the sous vide and watch them slowly heat over several hours.
     
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  19. Mar 7, 2019 #49

    DSChief

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    [​IMG]

    Any one of these, my Zombie killers. The Kochi is 270 mm for reference
     
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  20. Mar 7, 2019 #50

    Danzo

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    This thread is awesome
     
  21. Mar 7, 2019 #51

    Bert2368

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    I am licensed by BATF to manufacture and import explosives.

    I do not cook drugs. I did make nitroglycerin in a kitchen sink before graduating from high school, back when I was young and immortal.

    I now blow things up/set them on fire for a living. My primary job is ensuring safety-

    My company also provides armorer services and "weapons wrangling" for video and film productions.

    We have real weapons for close up shots which include action such as insering magazines or charging weapons, plus familiarizing actors on a range with what reality would be like.

    The arms locker with our "live" rental equipment adjoins the break room area where I frequently cook... Hence the above question about what qualifies as "a knife" and "in your kitchen".

    On the same site I have a kitchen garden, a small orchard, chickens, turkeys, ducks and crop fields/pastures/wood lots populated by tasty deer. Usually THESE are the source of what I'm cooking.
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2019
  22. Mar 7, 2019 #52

    Gjackson98

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    Yeah.... I think you are gtg, no body’s gonna go mess with your kitchen lol
     
  23. Mar 7, 2019 #53

    Noodle Soup

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    Nope, never said I did. The machete is for outside work. I live on a small homestead and own a 70 acre tree farm. Always something needing chopping around the place. But that French machete is a little too heavy for every day use.
     
  24. Mar 7, 2019 #54

    Bert2368

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    You never know, those damn space aliens got NO respect.
     
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  25. Mar 7, 2019 #55

    Barmoley

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    You guys are making me uncomfortable with this thread..... Your assumptions that our space alien and zombie brothers (brothers as in kindred spirit, not a gender identification), would want to cause us harm and would need to be dealt with in a violent manner is appalling and needs to be reported. Besides, most Japanese style knives clearly state to avoid bone contact.
     
  26. Mar 8, 2019 #56

    Xenif

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    If/when these Aliens attack, KKFers and our toothy sharp edges will save the planet v1.jpeg
     
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  27. Mar 8, 2019 #57

    WildBoar

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    Everyone knows aliens don't have bones, just cartilage.
     
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  28. Mar 8, 2019 #58

    StonedEdge

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    yo deba, paring knife, or parang. depending on situation
     
  29. Mar 8, 2019 #59

    Reegan Said

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    Grabbing the Chinese cleaver asap.
     
  30. Mar 8, 2019 #60

    Keith Sinclair

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    Don't want to get into the damage & murder Machete's have inflicted around the world. Almost 40 years kitchens in Hawaii have seen a lot. Guy with a cleaver chasing another. Many knife threat gestures. My good friend Tom Matsuda who got me the Sheraton Waikiki Ice Carving account was murdered in the chef's office with a knife. Over nothing by a loser F#$%.
     

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