Le Onion Cutting - drives me crazy

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I learned to do both horizontal and vertical cuts to dice onions in the late 80's and have pretty much done it the same way on probably a million onions at this point. I see TV people (Food Network and Create) do it opposite of how I do it as I go horizontal first vertical second. I feel like it is easier to do it that way as if I do vertical first the horizontal cuts feel like they are pulling the onion apart (I am sure it is just what I am comfortable with). I can pretty much dice an onion as fast as I want especially with my knives which are generally razor sharp.
+1
 
For perfect cubes I cut the onion into quarters, then cut each layer into a square, cut juliennes as wide as thick and then into cubes. like you would do for carrots, banana or anything.
It is time consuming at the beginning, gives a lot of waste (onions are not sooo expensive and generally you don‘t need too much of them) but the result is mind blowing.

edit: I just watched the video of Marco Pierre White.
Very rough since he probably hasn‘t cut anything and I guess cooks cut only one or two layer at the same time and cut real rectangles of onions in his restaurant but the idea is here.
Important: cubes shouldn‘t be too fine, they should have a perfect geometry. That is what looks the best for the mind.
For some special preparation some people prefer to sort out the „front“ and its „root“ of the onion wich doesn‘t have the same thickness but I find this a bit too much.
 
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For perfect cubes I cut the onion into quarters, then cut each layer into a square, cut juliennes as wide as thick and then into cubes. like you would do for carrots, banana or anything.
It is time consuming at the beginning, gives a lot of waste (onions are not sooo expensive) but the result is mind blowing.
I'm just not that OCD about it, ever. Just dice and roll with it!
 
From the Wikipedia page about Gulliver’s Travels:

“The novel further describes an intra-Lilliputian quarrel over the practice of breaking eggs. Traditionally, Lilliputians broke boiled eggs on the larger end; a few generations ago, an Emperor of Lilliput, the Present Emperor's great-grandfather, had decreed that all eggs be broken on the smaller end after his son cut himself breaking the egg on the larger end. The differences between Big-Endians (those who broke their eggs at the larger end) and Little-Endians had given rise to "six rebellions ... wherein one Emperor lost his life, and another his crown". The Lilliputian religion says an egg should be broken on the convenient end, which is now interpreted by the Lilliputians as the smaller end. The Big-Endians gained favour in Blefuscu.”
 
Huh. I recently had this conversation with a bunch of people on Reddit who reposted a video of me cutting onion with horizontal cuts. People get way too worked up about this ****.

Like I said. SlapChop. ‘You’re gonna love my nuts’.
 
Aaron Gibson's username on CKTG is CGuarin and he did some videos for Mark under that name. Just check out the cutting board in each video. It's IS the same person.

You are kidding, right. Even not knowing both of them (just my friend pointed out this nonsense of yours) - one of them is right and the other left handed. But nevermind.
 
OK..
I guess by removing the round parts of the onion on the front, left and right, you‘d get perfecter results than by adding horizontal slices.

Imagine it‘s an onion:

This was the way I did it when still in the game. I sacrificed the parts of the onion where the curve gets too steep.
 
No slap chop goin' in my house, unless its a jamacian slapchop

I was going to pass on the Slap Chop, but now that I know about the secret weapon aspect I'm sold. If I'm ever attacked by aliens in the kitchen while making salad I'll be all set.
 
From the Wikipedia page about Gulliver’s Travels:

“The novel further describes an intra-Lilliputian quarrel over the practice of breaking eggs. Traditionally, Lilliputians broke boiled eggs on the larger end; a few generations ago, an Emperor of Lilliput, the Present Emperor's great-grandfather, had decreed that all eggs be broken on the smaller end after his son cut himself breaking the egg on the larger end. The differences between Big-Endians (those who broke their eggs at the larger end) and Little-Endians had given rise to "six rebellions ... wherein one Emperor lost his life, and another his crown". The Lilliputian religion says an egg should be broken on the convenient end, which is now interpreted by the Lilliputians as the smaller end. The Big-Endians gained favour in Blefuscu.”

Haven't read Gulliver's Travels in many years, but it was brilliant. Of course in the US we don't need Swift today, our politicians satire themselves. Probably if they spent more time in the kitchen chopping onions we would be better off.
 
You are kidding, right. Even not knowing both of them (just my friend pointed out this nonsense of yours) - one of them is right and the other left handed. But nevermind.

Good one. He he
 
Radial cuts tend to distribute the meaninglessness of life a little bit more effectively but if you have the time, I’d always opt for horizontal/vertical to really push the self righteous nausea to peak performance. Anything less is really always worth arguing about.
 
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Huh. I recently had this conversation with a bunch of people on Reddit who reposted a video of me cutting onion with horizontal cuts. People get way too worked up about this ****.

Way too much, but yeah, Horizontal cuts - sport of the future ...
IMG_5803.jpg
 
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