Toilet paper is your friend, man!
You can use it for its normal purpose, no problem. In addition:
- Getting cold? Mound it into a pile, put a match to it, and warm yourself.
- If you are still cold when going to sleep, wrap yourself in TP and stay warm.
- Need to remove some make-up? TP is your friend!
- Need to remove some nail polish? A bit of TP and acetone will fix it in a jiffy.
- Got a spill of something on the floor? Not a problem, a bit of TP will clean it up right away.
- Got the sneezes? TP will catch your snot and, on top of that, save everyone around you from catching coronavirus, too.
- Hungry? TP, a bit of hot water and a bit of salt and pepper, and you got yourself a filling meal.
And, beyond all that, TP is biodegradable and environmentally friendly. So, the more you use, the more you are doing to help save the planet. (Ideally, every single person in the world would use at least a ton of toilet paper every year; it would solve all our environmental problems, with so many people doing so much to save the planet…)
So, as you can see, when the apocalypse comes, the very first thing you want to do is stock up on toilet paper.
It's only logical, isn't it?