A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus. You mean a martini? the bartender asks. The Roman replies, If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!
Another Roman walks into the bar, holds up two fingers, and says, Five beers, please.
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
Hmm, I think my post above was supposed to say something + about KKF. Either way, KKF helps keep my spending money at an all-time low, which I appreciate.
Semi-joke, from Louis CK: I dont stop eating when Im full. The meal isnt over when Im full. Its over when I hate myself.
An old lady enters a restaurant and orders herself a hamburger. Behind the counter, the waiter shouts to the Chef, "One burger!"
"Coming up" the chef says. He then grabs a hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpiit and pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat before throwing it on the grill.
"That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen," the old lady says.
"Yeah?" says the counterman. "Be glad you aren't here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts."