Bring your own steak knife to a fine dining restaurant?

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Personally I think it's bad etiquette... If you were to show up at my house with your own steak knife I'd politely ask you to dine at home. I maintain that the same sentiment would be shared by any waitstaff who see you using your own cutlery. You're going to a friends house or a restaurant, so you bring your steak knife. I view that as a presupposition on your behalf that some aspect of the (house/restaurant) will not be up to your standard (cutlery) and therefore you've preemptively made other accommodations. It's like bringing your own food... or wine! because you know nothing in the house will be up to you standard or to you liking.

Now, I don't have an inferiority complex. This is just HOW I VIEW THINGS, and WHY I DO NOT BRING MY OWN STUFF TO A RESTAURANT or DINNER PARTY (unless asked to do so). Corkage fees and slicing up big mountains of gaudy fondant covered mess don't cause me to lose any sleep, nor do I (usually) resent that type of thing... this is all just if I were to actually analyze any of it. I think etiquette is a dead art along with chivalry anyway, so I'm not sure what any of this is worth.

:shocked3:
 
Even if I happened to have a usable pocket knife along I probably would not pull it out in a "fine" restaurant and rather call a waiter and kindly ask for a proper tool for the job - after all I may have got the inproper tool by accident. It was mentioned before that using your own knife could be negatively received and I can see that. Most good restaurants often go to great lengths to sastisfy their customers and pulling out your own knife is like telling them they failed withoug giving them a chance to improve.

On the other hand, in lower-end establishment I have used a couple of times my pocket knife to get through less-then-perfect piece of meat, but I still would do that discretly without trying to show-off or make a point or something.
 
spoiledbroth said:
Personally I think it's bad etiquette... If you were to show up at my house with your own steak knife I'd politely ask you to dine at home. I maintain that the same sentiment would be shared by any waitstaff who see you using your own cutlery. You're going to a friends house or a restaurant, so you bring your steak knife. I view that as a presupposition on your behalf that some aspect of the (house/restaurant) will not be up to your standard (cutlery) and therefore you've preemptively made other accommodations. It's like bringing your own food... or wine! because you know nothing in the house will be up to you standard or to you liking.

Now, I don't have an inferiority complex. This is just HOW I VIEW THINGS, and WHY I DO NOT BRING MY OWN STUFF TO A RESTAURANT or DINNER PARTY (unless asked to do so). Corkage fees and slicing up big mountains of gaudy fondant covered mess don't cause me to lose any sleep, nor do I (usually) resent that type of thing... this is all just if I were to actually analyze any of it. I think etiquette is a dead art along with chivalry anyway, so I'm not sure what any of this is worth.

:shocked3:
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I would quite often prefer to bring my own wine. And yes it is usually of a better quality than what they offer.

Though it is a tough question, and the counter argument is would a restaurant refund my meal if it is ruined to me because the cutlery isn't sufficient.

Just stirring here, I would never take a cutlery to a restaurant. It is just an interesting idea. And nothing ruins a nice steak like a blunt knife.
 
Ehm, I would never take a bottle of wine to a restaurant (One would probably get politely kicked out or something I guess)either, unless some bigger event is being organised and I have prior agrement with the restaurant on that (e.g. wedding, etc.) as in that case bringing your own wine or cakes is rather common.
 
BYO (bring your own) is reasonably common over here, though most upper end restaurants don't allow it. It just depends on the establishment.
 
I always bring wine to dinner parties, as a host gift. Home Training.
 
So what if you've been to the restaurant in the past, and the food is good but the steak knife situation results in you literally tearing up your $65 steak? Never go there again, or consider bringing your own knife? I have not looked at this thread as bringing a knive on the supposition the cutlery would not be par at the restaurant, friend's house, etc. but rather going to a place where you know it is not fitting for the meal/ price so you do what you can to enhance your enjoyment.
 
Why so down on bringing your own knife? For starters, its a given I'm going to have a knife on me anyway. It is just a question of whether I feel the need to use it instead of what ever the restaurant provided. Maybe I'm just not eating at that very top rung of places but I've certainly been in some most considered 5 star. None ever provided me with a steak knife that would meet my own standards at home.
 
I cut stuff with my pocketknife I don't want to eat.
 
I do to but my "get all cleaned up going town knife" is not the same as my EDC working in the field knife. :) South west Law Enforcement guys have what they call "barbeque gun," I have my barbeque knife. I have a friend that throws a backyard gathering every year where one of the rules is you come with your best barbeque knife to show off. :)
 
Dardeau said:
I always bring wine to dinner parties, as a host gift. Home Training.
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That's a given. When I cook Stefan brings the wine. JohnF another forum member used to work as Sommelier our last dinner had plenty good wine:biggrin:
 
keithsaltydog said:
That's a given. When I cook Stefan brings the wine. JohnF another forum member used to work as Sommelier our last dinner had plenty good wine:biggrin:
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Yes we did have good wine...to go with some excellent food that you made. I figured that I wouldnt have to bring my own steak knife ;)
 
malexthekid said:
I would quite often prefer to bring my own wine. And yes it is usually of a better quality than what they offer.
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There's a local restaurant in Philly my girl likes to go to and I really like the food. Chef is a great guy and always does something special for us... but horrible Tequila options, pretty much Patron selections only! I want to drink good tequila when I go out, and it's pretty much all I drink, but I like their food so I approached it by asking the bartender (we usually eat at the bar) if they've ever tried a few of my favorites for carrying at the var, and when he said no, I asked if he'd like to try some next time I come in, I'd be more than happy to bring in a bottle and share. Now, he looks forward to when I come in, usually with a new bottle to try, I still tip as if I ordered my drinks from him and even the chef comes out to try a glass. I think the etiquette part is how you approach the problem and present your wishes.

If you wanted to bring your own knife to use, you could start off by telling the waiter that it's a special knife to you (maybe you got it as a gift from your deceased father, maybe it's your good luck charm) and would they mind if you used it for your meal. No matter how weird they think they request is, I'm sure any good waiter/restaurant would honor your special request...
 
WildBoar said:
So what if you've been to the restaurant in the past, and the food is good but the steak knife situation results in you literally tearing up your $65 steak? Never go there again, or consider bringing your own knife? I have not looked at this thread as bringing a knive on the supposition the cutlery would not be par at the restaurant, friend's house, etc. but rather going to a place where you know it is not fitting for the meal/ price so you do what you can to enhance your enjoyment.
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dude that's a totally false choice. The third option is to bring it to the attention of an establishment you for whatever reason chose to patronize twice. That second visit implies you or someone you care about likes the place so step up and tell them you deserve better cutlery! I'm not advocating anyone try to cut a medium well steak with a butter knife.

I'm not down on anyone for bringing a knife, if it's cool to you then do it. I'm just saying, if you think a sufficiently expensive establishment has **** cutlery you should let a manager or someone know. I don't want to make anyone feel ashamed, I don't think anyone is crazy or nuts for carrying around a knife, steak or otherwise. I just feel like it's a bit of a slight... that's more my point I was trying to get across. I don't work at a small plates or tasting course place I work at a surf and turf type place. We don't have great cutlery, to be sure. I think this is a very important thread because I would never have thought about it before. I'll be mentioning something at work but I'm not management, so I'd doubt if anything happened. I don't think everyone would share my opinion, I should take back my comments that most wait staff would be offended etc.

Cheers.
 
Agree about letting them know after that first visit (I should have put that in my post). And you may get immediate feedback about change not happening from the server/ manager. So at that point is when I would consider bringing your own to future meals to be an option. To be clear, I have never brought my own steak knife to a restaurant for any purpose other then to show it to the KKF members I was meeting up with and/ or who worked in the kitchen and wanted to see them (hey, Butch makes a killer steak knife -- I'm happy to let as many KKFers see one as possible). But I have dined with a KKF member who pulled out a folder and cut his steak during a dinner. It was a complete non-event; I don't think anyone else in the place besides me even knew he was using a personal knife. If the server saw it, they did not indicate any sort of apprehension. I think the key is to not make a show of it.

I think it's pretty cool that this thread has created such polarizing opinions. Who would have thought there would be such strong feelings in any of the camps? It's good for people to hear the reasoning behind others' dissenting opinions, as it helps everyone understand the full range of the issue. Geeze, I better stop as I sound all touchy-feely now, but rest assured I pretty much am the polar opposite :D
 
WildBoar said:
But I have dined with a KKF member who pulled out a folder and cut his steak during a dinner. It was a complete non-event; I don't think anyone else in the place besides me even knew he was using a personal knife. If the server saw it, they did not indicate any sort of apprehension. I think the key is to not make a show of it.
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+1
Asked my daughter who is a server at Del Frisco's Grille in NYC for two years. None of the servers pay attention to that kind of stuff.

Her POV is they're buying an expensive steak and can use whatever they want to cut it. If she noticed, and it looked like an interesting knife, she'd ask about it because her dad is into that stuff. It'll probably get her a bigger tip.
 
+2 Mano, my sentiment exactly, seems like BOH & FOH should have other things on their mind during service than if one of their patrons uses their own knife to cut something they just paid for.
 
mano said:
+1
Asked my daughter who is a server at Del Frisco's Grille in NYC for two years. None of the servers pay attention to that kind of stuff.

Her POV is they're buying an expensive steak and can use whatever they want to cut it. If she noticed, and it looked like an interesting knife, she'd ask about it because her dad is into that stuff. It'll probably get her a bigger tip.
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I can add Del Frisco's in Vegas to that list too. They have never paid any attention to the knives the folks at my table were pulling out. I've also been in there with the management from a well known firearm company when they were passing new model handguns around the table but it was private room event.
 
Is the Delmonico in Vegas an Emeril's Delmonico or is it another bastard branch of the NY restaurant?
 
Just curious, the one here in New Orleans that Emeril bought opened as a branch of the classic NYC restaurant (home of baked Alaska among other dishes) in something like 1915 and evolved into a totally different place. That restaurant then evolved again when Emeril bought it (maybe 15 years ago?). There are some really old Mardi Gras traditions connected to Delmonico since it is on the St. Charles parade route.
 
Just fact checked myself. Opened in 1895, bought in 1997.
 
And there are two in the same casino complex in Vegas. I was referring to the steak house, not the seafood/New Orleans place but I actually eat at the later most of the time.
 
Cheeks1989 said:
Just got back from Vegas really enjoyed Delmonico's.
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I don't want to digress too much, but have you been to other Vegas steakhouses (ie SW, Bazaar Meat, Craft, Vic and Anthony's, etc)? How does it compare? It's just always been on the radar but havent got any personal reviews good or bad.

To stay on topic, I thought the knife selection at Bazaar Meat, where they offer you several different options of knives (serrated, straight, thin, etc) was one of the best knife presentations I've seen.
 
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