Share your 'Dad Jokes' thread

[mengwong]

What’s the word for the knife you use to fillet a fish?

Deba

What’s the word for using a deba to fillet a fish?

Deba-butchery

What’s the word for using a deba to fillet a fish to be used in nyotaimori?

Debauchery

 

[ch_br]

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?

Eleph-I-Know

 

[wcothran]

Two peanuts walk into a bar… One was assaulted

 

[HumbleHomeCook]

Where do you go to learn how to make banana splits?











Sundae School.

 

[bahamaroot]

How do you make an apple turnover?








Push it downhill.

 

[HumbleHomeCook]

Before crow bars were invented, they just drank at home.

 

[nipsy]

What's "brown and sticky"











A "Stick"

bada boom bish

 

[bsfsu]

What do you use a wok for?

It's what you use to kill a wabbit when you don't have a wifle.

 

[mengwong]

Why do makers cryo quench their knives?

To make them go “burrrrr”

 

[KrnSeoulja]

What knife does a chef use to connect to Bluetooth?




Pairing knife...

 

[chefwp]

Why don't oysters donate to charity?






cuz they're so dang shellfish!

 

[KrnSeoulja]

What is the difference between an argument with your wife and a knife?





A knife has a point.

 

[Seemore]

I also like a subcategory of the dad joke: dad jokes for which you only need to say the punchline, you can skip the setup.

As he boarded, the bus driver said to him, “Yesterday I thought you were crazy, nut today I can see you’re nuts.”

 

[HumbleHomeCook]

Have any of you ever been to the Dorito's farm?








It's a cool ranch.

 

[aporigine]

two personal favorites.

What did the daddy buffalo say to his boy when he dropped him off at school?

“Bye son”

Why did the child need an adult to see the pirate movie?

‘Twas rated Aaarr!

 

[Molokai Livin']

 

[Molokai Livin']

 

[panda]

 

[aporigine]

 

[aporigine]

 

[Molokai Livin']

 

[Molokai Livin']

 

[mengwong]

You can put mushrooms on top of all kinds of bases: pizza, pasta, rice, potatoes, English muffins, it doesn’t matter. They’re all pretty much fungible.

 

[aporigine]

You can put mushrooms on top of all kinds of bases: pizza, pasta, rice, potatoes, English muffins, it doesn’t matter. They’re all pretty much fungible.

That gets mycelium of approval. You’re my new champignon.

 

[jacobwilder5]

What did Sushi A say to Sushi B?


Wassuhh B!

 

[aporigine]

What did Sushi A say to Sushi B?


Wassuhh B!

Did you hear about the Latina firefighter who had twin boys?

José and Hose B.

 

[Molokai Livin']

I didn't think orthopedic shoes would help, but I stand corrected.

 

[RonB]

Yesterday I ate a clock.
It was very time consuming, especially when I went back for seconds.

 

[WildBoar]

Yesterday I ate a clock.
It was very time consuming, especially when I went back for seconds.

That's alarming. If you had asked, we would have given you a hand. I'm ticked that you did not.

 

[M1k3]

It was the best of Shires.

It was the Worcestershires.