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Guy calls the fire department and says "you have to get here quickly, my house is on fire". They said, how do we get there? He replies what happened to that red truck you use to have?
I apologize for this sexist joke. Still funny from an achetype and prejudice view.

"My wife told me to get in touch with my feminine side... So I crashed the car and refused to talk to her the rest of the day for no reason".

Especially funny to me since I've by far made the most damage to our car(s)

"What happened to the application of the dull knife? It had been turned down and he simply was not able to make the cut"

on a more serious note do you think martin knows he's cleaver needs some sharpening?