Need pointers on getting from copy paper sharp to paper towel sharp

[NameAlreadyTaken]

Apologies in advance for the dumb questions. I've been grappling with this problem for a little bit, and wanted to see if your greater experience could shed some light on what's happening.
I'll try to break it down objectively (as best I can):

Problem statement:
When sharpening or maintaining an edge, I can reliably get to cleanly cutting copy paper sharp, but when I move to paper towel, I'm still getting a bit of tearing, so it's not really clean cut.

Variables:
I have recently acquired the JKI 1K & 6K diamond stone set, which I'm trying to use as my core, with my goal to essentially get a reliable enough method to essentially be able to strop and finish on the 6K without the need for 1 micron diamond spray strops (which I still have, I'm just trying to see if I can learn a technique that is good enough to be able to drop the loaded strop step).
I'm typically sharpening stainless steels, and get the same behaviour on different shaped knives. Of the recent knives I was sharpening last night, this lack of paper towel sharpness was most noticeable on a VG10 petty of my wife's.
I'm guessing that if it's cleanly cutting copy paper that I have successfully deburred on the 6K? There's no burr visible, and I've recently modified my deburring method based on a number of threads that I've been reading here.
Over the last few months I've been trying to get a better deburring method, so I've recently been trialing the start at the lowest possible angle, and then increase the angle for subsequent stones and stropping. I'm aware that I'm still early on in this journey, so the angle that I'm ending stropping at is probably higher than I would have preferred (mainly as I'm finding it challenging knowing what my angle "was" on the previous stone so I'm likely overcompensating by raising the angle up more than is needed), but that change in method / approach has certainly helped my deburring (I just need more practice in reducing the degree of increase). So I guess it's possible that I'm stropping at a higher angle, thereby making the apex larger, and maybe the apex is too large to cut paper cleanly?
The paper towel that my wife buys is some strange cross wave weave (Viva brand) paper towel, so I guess it's possible that maybe some of the tearing is the fibers on a different grain angle to the way I'm cutting? So maybe I could try a different brand of paper towel?
I have struggled in the past with angle consistency, and I think this is something that I'll continue to work on for as long as I'm sharpening. Making the move across to the diamond stones though, and rationalising my sharpening stones and methods has meant that there's less strokes, which has statistically reduced the impact that angle inconsistency was having much earlier in my sharpening journey. The change to increase the angle between stones / stropping is somewhat of a compensation for angle inconsistency on earlier stones, in that I'm less likely to end up with a significantly rounded apex at say 12 degrees per side, if I'm ending up stropping at a higher angle, say 25 degrees per side (again, I know this should be lower, but I just don't have a lot of confidence when the differences are so minute). But for completeness I'm guessing that angle inconsistency is a potential possibility or contributing factor in my inability to cleanly cut paper towel off stropping on a 6K diamond stone.
The 1K and 6K diamond stones are well flat, so it's unlikely it's surface inconsistency.
It may well be possible that I just have unreasonable expectations of both my approach and my ability, and cleanly cutting paper towel might not be a reasonable expectation straight off a 6K stone. That would be a great outcome for me (and give me a bit more peace of mind), however I do think that's quite unlikely given the heap of other videos of you guys sharpening that I've seen, and I'm always keen to learn, so hence I thought I'd ask the question.
I'm fully aware that for cutting the products that I'm typically doing (mainly veg), the degree of sharpness that I can already achieve is more than sufficient, so I'm guessing this is me trying to understand what needs work in my technique, and what's reasonable to expect.

Any suggestions or pointers are greatly appreciated. Let me know if there's some info that I've missed in the above.

 

[HumbleHomeCook]

No dumb questions friend. Sharpening is a journey for all of us and all of us are at some point or another along the road.

At the most basic and grossly simplified level, those kinds of tests are all about the keenness of the apex. That's it.

I'd start with not really worrying too much about paper towel cutting. Seriously. It's fun. It feels cool. I do it. But it is very much not necessary for most realistic kitchen duties. And if you're getting even some rough cuts, that's a pretty nice edge.

Cutting any medium doesn't necessarily mean you're fully deburred. It can be an indication but a burr can also act like a razor and appear very sharp but will collapse readily on use.

As always, set your focus to the lowest stone you're using. This is where sharpness happens. Everything beyond that is refinement. If you can cut paper towel off your 1k, even sorta rough cuts, you're well on your way. You'll probably find the 6k and the strop will clean them up some and that's fine. But it also means you can do better on the 1k.

Do some very light stropping strokes after burr formation and removal on the 1k.

Stainless is always a little more challenging and I personally find smaller knives like petties to be more challenging than larger knives.

 

[mengwong]

The hardest cut is a perpendicular push: if the paper is in XY, the knife is in YZ, the edge is parallel to Z, moving down Y only.

Next hardest, a perpendicular slice: Rotate the edge around X, as though pull-cutting a potato against a board. The cut from start to finish sees a change in the Z depth as well as the Y.

Does the slice go better when you also rotate the knife around Y, bringing the plane of the knife closer to the plane of the towel? If so, the knife may be wedging due to thickness behind the edge.

What works for me: apexing and thinning both. Getting the edge radius to below 0.1 micron – approximately 100 BESS – and thinning with 1K at <10dps, convexing to a 15dps microbevel, are where the towel stops tearing and starts cutting cleanly. Above a 15dps edge bevel I don’t expect the paper towel test to go well. But I am only an egg and have not been doing this very long.

I tend to get frustrated so I make up for lack of skill by polishing and refining with >= 6K but a less refined 1K is generally reported to work better, YMMV. I mean, if you can shave off a 325, clearly my worldview is broken

the dmt C 325 can and will produce an actual shaving edge

 

[Rangen]

Paper towel is kind of weird, at least if you mean holding up a single sheet, not supporting the edge very well, and trying to cut it. (Full disclosure: Bounty brand)

I've used it a lot, and one thing I've concluded is that toothy edges and even burrs can be better at getting a cut started than a perfect polished edge. That could make it a really good test, if you're after that tomato skin edge. But a clean, polished, fully-deburred edge with a bit of micro-convexity can struggle. You know what does really well on a paper towel test? Brand new knives fresh off the grinder. Not my favorite edges in actual use, to say the least.

The primary test I rely on is my thumb (not recommending that, but it works for me); that's what doesn't seem to quite line up with what paper towel results. Copy paper is useful, but seems a bit too forgiving, giving good results even when the edge is not up to my standard, just not quite enough information about good vs very good vs excellent. I'm just trying out newsprint, and impressed so far. It seems to give good feedback while you cut, telling about messy areas in the edge.

 

[mengwong]

a clean, polished, fully-deburred edge with a bit of micro-convexity can struggle.

This is exactly my struggle!

Only after I get the apex below 100 BESS, around HHT 2+, capable of occasionally treetopping, does everything snap back into focus, then I can slice curves silently through the paper towel; or push-cut straight down. Supported on both sides with four fingers still.

 

[Nemo]

IME, this is an issue caused by incomplete deburring, possibly with a contributionfrom a somewhat obtuse microbevel from your deburring efforts.

This is especially likely with VG10. The example that I have sharpened had a tenacious burr the removal of which occupied by far the majority of my sharpening efforts. Nice knife once it was deburred, though.

Could you describe how you deburr?

 

[Rangen]

Just for some context around stainless steels: I have switched almost entirely to carbon steels in the kitchen, and the sharpening experience is about 80% of why. I love to sharpen, but I have not managed to acquire a love of endless deburring.

Also stainless steels tend to be kind of slippery, which is not a helpful quality when trying to get a foothold on a paper towel edge.

 

[cotedupy]

The simple answer is: practice. Lots of practice and your edges will get better and more precise. The longer answer involves all sorts of factors; here are some thoughts, a number of which have been mentioned already...

You want a fine but not overly refined edge. Sharp but with teeth.

Deburr properly. A very precise wire edge can still paper towel cut sometimes, but generally it's a helluva lot cleaner with a properly deburred knife.

The type of paper towel doesn't actually make a massive difference. Extremely cheap and thin versions are a little more tricky though.

Stainless doesn't seem to take this kind of edge as well. Pretty much all the videos I post with paper towel cutting are Hitachi paper steels.

Thin behind the edge. This is the big one - so much of how a knife cuts is to do with this. Theoretically it shouldn't make that much of a difference for paper towel cutting, but I assure you it does. Pettys are rarely very thin bte.

---

Here's one I made earlier...

 

[Nemo]

It's worth reinforcing the point that kitchen knives are mostly used for cutting food rather than paper towel.

Having said, that, a paper towel- slicing edge is a joy to use, even if it only lasts a week or two in my kitchen.

How do your knives perform in food?

 

[cotedupy]

It's worth reinforcing the point that kitchen knives are mostly used for cutting food rather than paper towel.

^ This 110% ^

It's not massively important tbh. The ability to cleanly cut paper towel doesn't last that long after hitting a board for a few meals anyway. Far more important (imo) is how long your edge will last cutting normal paper - that's a sign of really good sharpening.

 

[Case_D]

In my experience, the biggest factors are keeping a consistent angle followed by deburring. The steel type and finishing grit aren't usually my issue, though of course garbage steel never helps in sharpening. I've gotten plenty of what I would consider lousy quality, thick-edged knives to paper towel slicing off a 1k stone.

On my final stone (whatever grit it may be) my usual deburring is, after sharpening to a burr on each side, doing about 3 strokes on each side, repeating 2 or 3 times. After that, doing 2 per side. Then 1. Then stropping strokes alternating each side. Maybe 4 or 5 times each. It's important to mention that I'm using only the weight of the knife and in the final stropping maybe trying for a bit less.

I always try to keep the same angle throughout. No raising for deburring when circumstances allow.

Keep up the practice. It took me many years of making and sharpening knives to really do it consistently.

 

[Benuser]

Edge trailing, increasing the angle through the progression, starting with a relatively high grit, jumping from 1k to 6k: all factors that won't help you with VG-10, where the burr tends to remain strongly attached to the edge.

Edge trailing creates a fat burr at the opposite side. You want to abrade the burr, not just flipping, and certainly not raise a new one when abrading the old one, which is exactly what happens when edge trailing. I should add that angle control when edge trailing is unsure, especially at the end of the motion. You may check with a sharpie and a loupe whether you really are reaching the very edge.
Increasing the angle means that the very edge hasn't been touched by previous, coarser stones. It's perfectly OK with simple, finely grained carbons. Not so much with VG-10 I'm afraid. You won't get a stable edge that way.
I don't know any diamond stones, but I doubt whether they are the right ones to gently abrade a burr without creating a new one. Even a lot of conventional stones are far too aggressive for that purpose.
I would strongly suggest you to start with a coarse stone, say a 320, deburr on that one as far as you can, by the lightest possible, short (1/2") edge leading strokes, in sections, and stay with the same angle. You go to the next stone if the burr only flips without getting any smaller. Expect the first stone to take by far the most time.
Through the entire progression, stay with the same angle, and deburr as far as you can on every stone.

 

[Pie]

lots of good info from very experienced people.

The one thing I would add is re: angle inconsistency and raising it when increasing grit or deburring: it’s not as horribly sinful as the theory makes it out to be, as long as we’re using the ends to justify the means. If you’re somewhat consistent on that angle at a particular stone, you’re good IME. If you increase at the next one, keep it in mind and maintain your increased angle. Just don’t get to like 60 degrees incusive.

I’ve been ham fisting my edges with no way of measuring angles/consistency for a few years now and manage to get to hht without a strop every other knife or so if I finish over 220 grit. It’s been a very humbling learning experience but as always, practice makes closer to perfect!

Note: this is not the advice of a seasoned sharpener. I get by and my knives can cut my food good enough.

 

[NameAlreadyTaken]

I'd start with not really worrying too much about paper towel cutting. Seriously. It's fun. It feels cool. I do it. But it is very much not necessary for most realistic kitchen duties. And if you're getting even some rough cuts, that's a pretty nice edge.

Cutting any medium doesn't necessarily mean you're fully deburred. It can be an indication but a burr can also act like a razor and appear very sharp but will collapse readily on use.

As always, set your focus to the lowest stone you're using. This is where sharpness happens. Everything beyond that is refinement. If you can cut paper towel off your 1k, even sorta rough cuts, you're well on your way. You'll probably find the 6k and the strop will clean them up some and that's fine. But it also means you can do better on the 1k.

Do some very light stropping strokes after burr formation and removal on the 1k.

Stainless is always a little more challenging and I personally find smaller knives like petties to be more challenging than larger knives.

Noted - Here, I'm not using the paper towel cut as anything other than a potential indicator that there's something in my technique that needs to be tuned in.

Fair point about a fine burr. Maybe I get a microscope and inspect it to see if there's any remnant?

So that's interesting that you say the sharpness happens at the lowest stone. I don't think I've ever tried cutting tests off my 1K, mainly because I've been leaving deburring until the final stone. This is a combination of me trying to minimise steps / time, but also I've found that the 6K diamond stone raises a burr really easily. Do I need to be deburring at each stone then?

The VG10 petty seems to be the worst, which was making me think it might be more to do with the angle, as I find a shorter knife harder to sharpen at a lower angle than say a taller gyuto where your fingers have more clearance for the same angle.

 

[NameAlreadyTaken]

The hardest cut is a perpendicular push: if the paper is in XY, the knife is in YZ, the edge is parallel to Z, moving down Y only.

Next hardest, a perpendicular slice: Rotate the edge around X, as though pull-cutting a potato against a board. The cut from start to finish sees a change in the Z depth as well as the Y.

Does the slice go better when you also rotate the knife around Y, bringing the plane of the knife closer to the plane of the towel? If so, the knife may be wedging due to thickness behind the edge.

What works for me: apexing and thinning both. Getting the edge radius to below 0.1 micron – approximately 100 BESS – and thinning with 1K at <10dps, convexing to a 15dps microbevel, are where the towel stops tearing and starts cutting cleanly. Above a 15dps edge bevel I don’t expect the paper towel test to go well. But I am only an egg and have not been doing this very long.

I tend to get frustrated so I make up for lack of skill by polishing and refining with >= 6K but a less refined 1K is generally reported to work better, YMMV. I mean, if you can shave off a 325, clearly my worldview is broken

Thanks mate. I get most cutting / tearing happening when I'm holding the top of the paper towel, and slicing downward.
Sideways cuts aren't really biting much.

Hmm... You're clearly a lot more skilled and experienced in the sharpening department, so I'll have to bow to your superior skills. Certainly if I need to get a polycrystalline diamond strop at <1 micron, I can probably organise that, but as mentioned by others, I don't really have a requirement to be able to cut paper towel per se. I guess my thinking is that if it's possible to cut paper towel straight off stones, then I've still got something to learn.

 

[NameAlreadyTaken]

Paper towel is kind of weird, at least if you mean holding up a single sheet, not supporting the edge very well, and trying to cut it. (Full disclosure: Bounty brand)

I've used it a lot, and one thing I've concluded is that toothy edges and even burrs can be better at getting a cut started than a perfect polished edge. That could make it a really good test, if you're after that tomato skin edge. But a clean, polished, fully-deburred edge with a bit of micro-convexity can struggle. You know what does really well on a paper towel test? Brand new knives fresh off the grinder. Not my favorite edges in actual use, to say the least.

The primary test I rely on is my thumb (not recommending that, but it works for me); that's what doesn't seem to quite line up with what paper towel results. Copy paper is useful, but seems a bit too forgiving, giving good results even when the edge is not up to my standard, just not quite enough information about good vs very good vs excellent. I'm just trying out newsprint, and impressed so far. It seems to give good feedback while you cut, telling about messy areas in the edge.

Well that's interesting. Yes, essentially I was kind of using the cutting test as a bit of feedback for where there might still be a lingering burr, but I do take your point that optimal cutting edges are entirely dependent on what you're actually cutting (rather than what you're using as a test), and heavily influenced by personal preference. My preference at the moment is for not dull, as my sharpening skills are really only up to the "well it's sharper than I started with" stage.

 

[NameAlreadyTaken]

This is exactly my struggle!

Only after I get the apex below 100 BESS, around HHT 2+, capable of occasionally treetopping, does everything snap back into focus, then I can slice curves silently through the paper towel; or push-cut straight down. Supported on both sides with four fingers still.

Well that's certainly good to hear! Maybe my using it as a test was a bit misplaced? If so, what is a better measure of a cleanly deburred fine apex?

 

[mengwong]

I guess my thinking is that if it's possible to cut paper towel straight off stones,

@cotedupy is living proof!

then I've still got something to learn.

You and me both. Well, now I know what I’m doing with the rest of my weekend.

Plan: Shirogami 1 on 1K, then Shirogami 1 on 500

Next, SK nihonko on 1K, then 500

Next, VG10 on 1K, then 500

Next, admission to hospital for bursitis RSI

Maybe they’ll let me borrow a scalpel…

 

[mengwong]

what is a better measure of a cleanly deburred fine apex?

Cut paper. Note sound and feel.

Dry-fire a few times on plastic cutting board.

Cut paper again. Report delta.

 

[mengwong]

Here’s a standard reference document. Caution: reading this PDF is known to cause localized hair loss on arms and legs.

http://knifegrinders.com.au/Manuals/Sharpness_Chart.pdf

 

[mengwong]

Maybe my using it as a test was a bit misplaced?

Many will say performance against actual food is what matters: What's important when you sharpen knives

I say, fie! We climb Everest because it is there! We do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they would be easy! Bring on the paper towel! We invent a new dish! Tagliolini, tagliatelle, towelliolini! My bowels have never been so regular.

 

[NameAlreadyTaken]

IME, this is an issue caused by incomplete deburring, possibly with a contributionfrom a somewhat obtuse microbevel from your deburring efforts.

This is especially likely with VG10. The example that I have sharpened had a tenacious burr the removal of which occupied by far the majority of my sharpening efforts. Nice knife once it was deburred, though.

Could you describe how you deburr?

Yeah, so at the moment, I'm deburring with a stropping motion on the 6K diamond stone, then visually inspecting, and test cutting copy paper and repeating the stropping motion until I get something that's cutting the copy paper smoothly. This takes more time than raising a burr does.
After that, I'd probably just very lightly run the edge across the back of a non-scratch sponge like Jon does in his sharpening videos, but that's usually as part of washing after I've tested on the copy paper.

Most of my stropping motions are at a deliberately higher angle than the burr raising (and sometimes I'm probably over compensating with a higher angle than needed), to make sure I'm hitting the apex, but I guess it's possible I'm putting a microbevel on at that point. My strokes are edge trailing to start with, unless I get a really stubborn burr that frustrates me then I'll probably do one edge leading strokes. I still haven't got enough balls to try the Kippington trademark deburring method. But if that's going to get me a better outcome, then I'm happy to trial it (however nervously )

(Edited to provide more information in deburring method that I should have included the first time)

 

[NameAlreadyTaken]

Just for some context around stainless steels: I have switched almost entirely to carbon steels in the kitchen, and the sharpening experience is about 80% of why. I love to sharpen, but I have not managed to acquire a love of endless deburring.

Also stainless steels tend to be kind of slippery, which is not a helpful quality when trying to get a foothold on a paper towel edge.

Yeah, I fully accept that I'm running a handicap race here using stainless
I should mention though that Robin's AEB-L feels quite crisp on the stones and is much easier to deburr than this VG10 petty.
And yes, I am going to replace that petty when JKI gets a restock of Gingas, but in the meantime, I'm keen to learn.

 

[NameAlreadyTaken]

The simple answer is: practice. Lots of practice and your edges will get better and more precise. The longer answer involves all sorts of factors; here are some thoughts, a number of which have been mentioned already...

You want a fine but not overly refined edge. Sharp but with teeth.

Deburr properly. A very precise wire edge can still paper towel cut sometimes, but generally it's a helluva lot cleaner with a properly deburred knife.

The type of paper towel doesn't actually make a massive difference. Extremely cheap and thin versions are a little more tricky though.

Stainless doesn't seem to take this kind of edge as well. Pretty much all the videos I post with paper towel cutting are Hitachi paper steels.

Thin behind the edge. This is the big one - so much of how a knife cuts is to do with this. Theoretically it shouldn't make that much of a difference for paper towel cutting, but I assure you it does. Pettys are rarely very thin bte.

---

Here's one I made earlier...

Killer vid!
I guess you're right, most of the videos that I've watched aren't of stainless cutting paper towel.
I have spent a bit of time thinning this petty, although that was a while ago, so potentially could benefit from another thinning session.
And yes, practice will come with time, but sometimes I feel like I'm not really improving, hence this thread for some pointers.

 

[NameAlreadyTaken]

It's worth reinforcing the point that kitchen knives are mostly used for cutting food rather than paper towel.

Having said, that, a paper towel- slicing edge is a joy to use, even if it only lasts a week or two in my kitchen.

How do your knives perform in food?

Yeah very true.

The edges are sharp enough for meal preps and those in between board activities, like the kids lunches for school, etc. I don't really have any complaints with how they go through product, but I'm trying to understand if tearing paper towel is indicative of something I need to learn about more.

 

[NameAlreadyTaken]

^ This 110% ^

It's not massively important tbh. The ability to cleanly cut paper towel doesn't last that long after hitting a board for a few meals anyway. Far more important (imo) is how long your edge will last cutting normal paper - that's a sign of really good sharpening.

What are you viewing as "normal paper"? 80gsm copy paper? Notepad / shopping list paper?

 

[NameAlreadyTaken]

In my experience, the biggest factors are keeping a consistent angle followed by deburring. The steel type and finishing grit aren't usually my issue, though of course garbage steel never helps in sharpening. I've gotten plenty of what I would consider lousy quality, thick-edged knives to paper towel slicing off a 1k stone.

On my final stone (whatever grit it may be) my usual deburring is, after sharpening to a burr on each side, doing about 3 strokes on each side, repeating 2 or 3 times. After that, doing 2 per side. Then 1. Then stropping strokes alternating each side. Maybe 4 or 5 times each. It's important to mention that I'm using only the weight of the knife and in the final stropping maybe trying for a bit less.

I always try to keep the same angle throughout. No raising for deburring when circumstances allow.

Keep up the practice. It took me many years of making and sharpening knives to really do it consistently.

Well that makes me feel a little better. Are your deburring strokes edge leading or edge trailing?

 

[NameAlreadyTaken]

Edge trailing, increasing the angle through the progression, starting with a relatively high grit, jumping from 1k to 6k: all factors that won't help you with VG-10, where the burr tends to remain strongly attached to the edge.

Edge trailing creates a fat burr at the opposite side. You want to abrade the burr, not just flipping, and certainly not raise a new one when abrading the old one, which is exactly what happens when edge trailing. I should add that angle control when edge trailing is unsure, especially at the end of the motion. You may check with a sharpie and a loupe whether you really are reaching the very edge.
Increasing the angle means that the very edge hasn't been touched by previous, coarser stones. It's perfectly OK with simple, finely grained carbons. Not so much with VG-10 I'm afraid. You won't get a stable edge that way.
I don't know any diamond stones, but I doubt whether they are the right ones to gently abrade a burr without creating a new one. Even a lot of conventional stones are far too aggressive for that purpose.
I would strongly suggest you to start with a coarse stone, say a 320, deburr on that one as far as you can, by the lightest possible, short (1/2") edge leading strokes, in sections, and stay with the say angle. You go to the next stone if the burr only flips without getting any smaller. Expect the first stone to take by far the most time.
Through the entire progression, stay with the same angle, and deburr as far as you can on every stone.

Okay, can you explain what you mean by: "You go to the next stone if the burr only flips without getting any smaller"??

 

[NameAlreadyTaken]

lots of good info from very experienced people.

The one thing I would add is re: angle inconsistency and raising it when increasing grit or deburring: it’s not as horribly sinful as the theory makes it out to be, as long as we’re using the ends to justify the means. If you’re somewhat consistent on that angle at a particular stone, you’re good IME. If you increase at the next one, keep it in mind and maintain your increased angle. Just don’t get to like 60 degrees incusive.

I’ve been ham fisting my edges with no way of measuring angles/consistency for a few years now and manage to get to hht without a strop every other knife or so if I finish over 220 grit. It’s been a very humbling learning experience but as always, practice makes closer to perfect!

Note: this is not the advice of a seasoned sharpener. I get by and my knives can cut my food good enough.

Thanks mate. Appreciate the feedback. I started raising the angle as a compensation of getting through a sharpening progression without actually hitting the apex, and some other reading from MengWong from that knife grinders site suggested the different burr behaviours so I thought I'd try something different.
I guess I'm just not confident that I can maintain say 12 degrees (or whatever) between stones or between sides, and yes, I'll get better with practice.
How do you tell whether you're hitting the apex during a refinement at higher grits?

 

[NameAlreadyTaken]

@cotedupy is living proof!


You and me both. Well, now I know what I’m doing with the rest of my weekend.

Plan: Shirogami 1 on 1K, then Shirogami 1 on 500

Next, SK nihonko on 1K, then 500

Next, VG10 on 1K, then 500

Next, admission to hospital for bursitis RSI

Maybe they’ll let me borrow a scalpel…

Let me know how you go, or which hospital to send flowers to.